You Are The Bug

Content Your first podcast will be awful Your first video will be awful Your first article will be awful Your first art will be awful Your first photo will be awful Your first game will be awful But your first code will be perfect. Zero bugs and a very clean code. It will be "Hello World" Me: ››> Print ("Hellow World!") Traceback (most recent call last): File " ", line 1, in Print ("Hellow World!") NameError: name 'Print' is not defined >›>

Content You are on re x I x E

Sure, AI will replace programmers... right after it figures out what "a button that does something" means. The robot claims it just needs clear requirements and detailed specs, meanwhile product managers are out here giving requirements like they're ordering at a restaurant after three martinis. Good luck getting that neural network to interpret "make it pop" or "you know what I mean, right?"

The unholy fusion of dog and ostrich is the perfect mascot for modern coding—front-end looking majestic while the backend is just winging it. "It gets most of its code from StackOverflow" hits way too close to home for anyone who's ever built a "custom solution" by stitching together 17 different answers from 2014. And that smug little "ChatGPT is a better programmer than you" caption? Pure psychological warfare. The real joke is we're all just three keyboard shortcuts away from being replaced by an AI that learned to code by scraping the same StackOverflow posts we did. The circle of technical debt is complete!

OH. MY. GOD. The difference is SENDING ME! 💀 Left side: AI code looking like it's applying for a PhD with its perfectly commented, meticulously structured, memory-checking perfection. Like that one friend who color-coordinates their closet AND alphabetizes their spice rack. Right side: Human programmer's chaotic masterpiece with its cryptic "TODO: More chars" (which will stay there until the heat death of the universe), random variable names, and that absolutely unhinged nested loop that's probably printing ASCII art of their ex's face or something. The true signature of human code isn't elegance—it's the beautiful disaster that somehow still works despite looking like it was written during a caffeine-induced hallucination!

The mysterious figure offering an "AI feature" is just a fancy wrapper for what's really going on behind the scenes: a glorified switch case. This is basically every company that slaps "AI-powered" on their product when it's just a bunch of if-else statements wearing a trench coat. The engineering equivalent of putting a top hat on a potato and calling it the CEO.