The Great Developer Migration

Google really said "let's revolutionize coding with AI!" and then proceeded to create the most EXHAUSTING onboarding experience known to humankind. You're hyped, you download it, and suddenly you're trapped in authentication hell—three login attempts like you're trying to break into Fort Knox. Then BAM, rate limited after 5 prompts because apparently Google thinks you're trying to speedrun the singularity. And the cherry on top? Rumors swirling that Google's own engineers aren't even allowed to use their own creation. The absolute BETRAYAL. So naturally, you crawl back to VS Code with your tail between your legs, defeated by corporate bureaucracy once again. Sometimes the old reliable just hits different.

Backend engineers getting distracted by shiny machine learning tech while production bugs silently judge them from behind. Tale as old as git. We all swear we'll fix that NullPointerException right after we finish this "quick" TensorFlow tutorial that's only been open in a browser tab for 47 days.

When Indeed thinks your software engineering skills make you perfect for managing a fast food joint, but still has the audacity to include a "This is a bad match" button. The irony is delicious – unlike what you'd be serving at El Pollo Loco. The tech industry in 2024: Spend 10 years mastering distributed systems and microservices architecture so you can flip chicken and manage teenagers making minimum wage. But hey, you get to "apply your skills in a new industry" – because apparently writing code and cooking poultry require the same skill set!

The evolution of developer laziness has reached its final form. In 2020, some poor soul manually hardcoded every single number check like they were writing the Ten Commandments of Boolean Logic. "If it's 0, false. If it's 1, true. If it's 2, false..." Someone really sat there and typed out the entire pattern instead of just using the modulo operator like num % 2 === 0 . Fast forward to 2025, and we've collectively given up on thinking altogether. Why bother understanding basic math operations when you can just ask an AI to solve it for you? Just yeet the problem at OpenAI and pray it doesn't hallucinate a response that breaks production. The best part? The AI probably returns the hardcoded version from 2020 anyway. We went from reinventing the wheel to not even knowing what a wheel is anymore. Progress! 🚀

Ah yes, the classic corporate love triangle. CEOs staring longingly at the shiny new AI walking by, completely ignoring the loyal developers who've been building their products for half a decade. Nothing says "thanks for your service" like being dumped for the hot new technology that probably can't even center a div properly. Those 5-year veterans are sitting there with their legacy code knowledge while the boss is already planning the AI wedding. Commitment issues much?

When your resume says "Expert in Python, Java, and 10 other languages" but the HR algorithm only picked up "fluent in English." The team leader is all excited about your "perfectly skilled" profile while HR is just happy they found someone who can understand the company lunch menu. This is why we can't have nice things in tech recruitment. Those fancy AI-powered resume parsers that companies spend thousands on? Yeah, they're basically just CTRL+F with a business suit on. Meanwhile, qualified candidates walk right past because their resume didn't include the sacred keyword "synergy" exactly 7 times.