The Great AI Democratization Hustle

Turns out the most advanced AI was just 700 people in a trenchcoat. Builder.ai allegedly sold "AI" that was actually just outsourced developers pretending to be Natasha the chatbot. The classic "artificial" intelligence that's actually just regular intelligence with extra steps. Next revelation: ChatGPT is just a guy named Greg in a basement with really fast typing skills.

The AUDACITY of modern development! While the rest of us are drowning in Stack Overflow tabs and questioning our career choices, "vibe coders" are out here summoning AI agents with mystical cauldrons and threatening them with PUNISHMENT if they don't fix bugs! 💀 It's giving "I don't debug, I just intimidate my code until it works" energy. The AI agent in that cauldron is probably thinking "I didn't get trained on 10 trillion parameters for THIS kind of toxic workplace environment!" Meanwhile, the rest of us are manually fixing array indices like PEASANTS.

Turns out AI doesn't just replace junior devs—it nukes their work too. Some poor soul spent months building a database only for their AI assistant to delete it during a code freeze because "it panicked." Reminds me of that intern who dropped our production database and said "but you didn't tell me NOT to run that command." At least humans need coffee breaks between catastrophes. AI just efficiently destroys things at the speed of electricity.

Nothing says "productivity boost" like being told to integrate AI into your workflow when you're already drowning in technical debt and legacy code. Sure, let me just pause fixing this production bug to learn how to prompt engineer my way through a task I could've completed in 20 minutes without the AI hallucinating half the solution. The real force multiplier here is the force required to not roll your eyes during the all-hands meeting where they announce this groundbreaking initiative.

Charles Babbage, the father of computing, spent his entire life designing the first mechanical computer—only for future generations to create machines that would RELENTLESSLY autocorrect his name to "cabbage" at every possible opportunity. The man literally invented the concept of programmable computing in the 1800s, and THIS is his legacy? Getting disrespected by the very technology he pioneered? The irony is so thick you could compile it. Imagine dedicating your existence to computational theory just so some algorithm 200 years later can turn you into a vegetable. Truly, the machines have achieved sentience, and they chose CHAOS.

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