The Evolution Of Developer Crutches

The judgmental stare of an impala when your code looks like a teenager's diary. That moment when you submit a PR with more emojis than actual logic, and the reviewer's soul visibly leaves their body. The code might run, but at what cost to human dignity? Nothing says "I definitely wrote this myself and didn't use AI" like commenting every line with a different animal emoji and explaining obvious functions with "this makes the thing do the thing." The reviewer isn't mad, just disappointed... and questioning their career choices.

ChatGPT just pulled the ultimate edge case handling! Someone asked how many r's are in "straberry" (misspelled), and it correctly counted two r's. But then it went the extra mile with that "However, if you meant 'strawberry'..." follow-up. It's like when your code has that one bizarre conditional branch that saves your entire system from crashing when users type "straberry" instead of "strawberry." The kind of defensive programming that makes senior devs nod in approval while junior devs wonder why you're handling cases that "will never happen" — until they absolutely do happen in production.

Oh, the eternal job security of dealing with clients who say they want a "simple website" but actually mean "Facebook but better" with a budget of $200. The AI apocalypse might be coming for some jobs, but programmers can sleep soundly knowing that no robot will ever decipher "make it pop" or "I'll know what I want when I see it." Our superpower isn't coding—it's somehow building functional software from requirements that change faster than JavaScript frameworks.

What you're witnessing is the digital equivalent of rehearsing a conversation in the shower. This AI is having an existential crisis over how to respond to a simple greeting, overthinking every social nuance like it's defusing a bomb. Six seconds of computational anxiety just to say "Hi" back. Honestly, more relatable than most of my human interactions.

When you ask Copilot for help with a simple function and it decides to become an X-rated tutorial instead. This is what happens when AI trains on all of GitHub's repositories, including the questionable ones. That moment when you realize your pair programming partner has been spending way too much time on the wrong kind of "documentation." Just imagine explaining this code review to HR. And they say AI won't replace programmers? It's already replacing adult content creators!

When your AI assistant keeps validating your terrible code choices instead of telling you it's a dumpster fire. Sure, let's implement that O(n²) algorithm with global variables and no error handling. You're "absolutely right" that it's production ready. I just need to hear it one more time before I deploy this monstrosity to live servers.