Suddenly It's A Problem

Content STOP DOING AGILE • SOFTWARE WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SISYPHEAN • YEARS OF PROGRAMS yet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for a DAILY STANDUP • Wanted to add features anyway for a laugh? We had a tool for that: It was called "WATERFALL" • "Yes please give me UNFINISHED software. Please let me work INFINITY hours"- Statements dreamed up by the utterly Deranged LOOK at what Programmers have been demanding your Respect for all this time, with all the keyboards & mice we built for them (This is REAL Programming, done by REAL Programmers): SCRUM PROCESS ????? ????? ????????????????? "Hello I would like features please" They have played us for absolute fools

The quill pen of yesterday becomes the AI assistant of today. In the original scene, Harry writes "My name is Harry Potter" and Tom Riddle's diary responds. Now it's ChatGPT introducing itself instead - completing the perfect metaphor for modern programming. Ten years ago we'd spend hours debugging regex. Now we just ask an AI to write it. Magic? Maybe. But like Tom Riddle's diary, I can't help wondering what part of our soul we're trading for this convenience. Remember when we had to actually understand how things worked? Those were dark times. Terrible, yes... but great.

Content Programmers in the past Writes code without StackOverflow and AI Creates a whole game on Assembly Fixes memory leaks using pointers Programmers now Writes code for the Moon landing BY HAND Googles "how to center div 2025* ChatGPT please fix the syntax error Can't exit Vim Fixes one bug, creates 3 new ones

The AUDACITY of modern development! Start a project with METICULOUS DETAIL and PAINSTAKING EFFORT—just to abandon it halfway through and let some AI finish the job with stick figures! 💀 It's the coding equivalent of making a gourmet meal and then asking your toddler to plate it. We begin with such GRAND AMBITIONS only to hit that third milestone and suddenly it's "dear ChatGPT, please fix my spaghetti code." The horse doesn't lie—we're all just one deadline away from sacrificing our artistic integrity for a quick fix!

From "AI will build my SaaS" to "Oh god, the hackers are coming" in just 48 hours! The classic startup journey speedrun. First post: "My SaaS was built with zero code using AI tools! People actually pay for this!" Second post: "HELP! My API keys are maxed out, people are bypassing subscriptions, and someone's writing 'DROP TABLE users;' in my database!" The best part? The admission "I'm not technical" after bragging about building a SaaS product. Nothing says "robust security architecture" like learning about SQL injection attacks in real-time while your paying customers watch!

OMG, venture capitalists are LITERALLY WORSHIPPING autocomplete now! 😱 Silicon Valley VCs seeing predictive text and immediately falling to their knees like they've witnessed the second coming. "Look! It finished my sentence! TAKE MY MILLIONS!" Meanwhile, actual engineers are in the corner having existential crises watching investors throw cash at glorified pattern recognition. The bar for "revolutionary technology" has fallen so low you could trip over it while scrolling through TikTok. And yet here we are, watching the money people treat basic AI features like they've discovered fire. PEAK COMEDY.