At Least They Pay Well

The tech industry's secret decoder ring has been revealed! Someone finally explained why all our tech acronyms are suspiciously connected to India. GPT isn't some fancy language model—it's just a Gujarati with exceptional typing skills. And here I was thinking AI stood for "Artificial Intelligence" when it's actually just outsourcing with extra steps. Next they'll tell us that DNS actually stands for "Delhi Network Support" and HTTP is "Help Ticket from Tamil Pradesh."

The evolution of getting help as a developer! First we had Reddit calling our questions "stupid," then Stack Overflow dismissing everything as "off-topic," and now ChatGPT responding with "that's a very good question" to even the most ridiculous requests like "how to prevent screenshots of my website." Finally, a digital assistant that doesn't make us feel like complete idiots for not knowing something! It's the therapy we never knew we needed after years of Stack Overflow PTSD. Breaking generational trauma one suspiciously positive response at a time.

The classic tech panic bait-and-switch! First half: "AI is coming for your jobs, web devs! DSA knowledge? Useless. MERN stack? Dead. Only learn ML and chase whatever shiny new tech appears on the horizon!" Then the punchline drops: "The more terrified everyone is, the fewer people will compete for jobs... which means more job security for me ." It's the programming equivalent of telling kids the ice cream truck only plays music when it's out of ice cream. Pure psychological warfare disguised as career advice!

The corporate data science dream team standing around watching one guy with Excel do all the actual work. Classic case of "we hired seven specialists with fancy titles to stare at a hole while the person who's been using VLOOKUP since 2003 actually solves the problem." This is why your company's $2M data infrastructure still ultimately feeds into someone's spreadsheet that crashes every third Thursday. The Excel guru probably makes half what the AI consultants do, but knows where all the bodies are buried in your database.

Running from the AI hype tribe like Jack Sparrow fleeing cannibals. Every standup these days: "We should integrate ChatGPT into our workflow!" Meanwhile, you're just trying to write clean code without buzzword-driven development consuming your sprint. The real treasure isn't some half-baked AI integration—it's maintainable code that won't summon future developers to hunt you down with pitchforks. Resistance isn't futile, it's sanity preservation.

ChatGPT taking a full 34 seconds to transform "yo G" into a corporate email greeting is the digital equivalent of rehearsing a phone call 17 times before dialing. That AI is definitely sweating in binary while crafting the perfect response that screams "I definitely know how to human correctly." Next update: GPT-5 with built-in social anxiety and the ability to ghost conversations for days.