Ai Will Take Our Jobs

Ah yes, the mythical beast of modern development - half dog, half ostrich, all ChatGPT. Your codebase is about to experience the "uncanny valley" indeed. One end barks confidently about solutions it doesn't understand while the other buries its head in the sand when debugging time comes. The "OH REALLY?" at the top is what your senior developer mutters when you claim your AI-generated monstrosity is "original work." Next edition will feature a creature that's half Stack Overflow, half deadline panic.

Oh, the classic "elephant in the room" problem has evolved into the "elephant in the AI" problem! ChatGPT was asked to create an image with "absolutely no elephants" yet there's a massive pachyderm chilling in the corner like it's paying rent. This is the digital equivalent of a unit test that passes despite the glaring bug. The AI confidently declares "Here's the image of an empty room with absolutely no elephants in it" while the evidence trunk-slaps you in the face. It's like when your code compiles without errors but still manages to crash spectacularly in production.

Someone wants to build ChatGPT for $500? Sure, and I want a Ferrari for the price of a bicycle. This freelance posting is the perfect example of clients who think you can just sprinkle some PHP and Node.js on a project and suddenly have a multi-billion dollar AI platform. OpenAI burned through hundreds of millions in compute costs alone, but sure, let's build that on a budget that wouldn't even cover a junior dev's weekly salary. The 51 desperate freelancers bidding on this are either wildly optimistic or planning to deliver a glorified if-else statement with a chat interface and call it "AI."

Content Your first podcast will be awful Your first video will be awful Your first article will be awful Your first art will be awful Your first photo will be awful Your first game will be awful But your first code will be perfect. Zero bugs and a very clean code. It will be "Hello World" Me: ››> Print ("Hellow World!") Traceback (most recent call last): File " ", line 1, in Print ("Hellow World!") NameError: name 'Print' is not defined >›>

Ah, the classic bait and switch marketing that's so prevalent in tech. Someone announces "Cursor is now free for students. Enjoy!" and immediately gets parodied with "Sugar is now free for diabetics. Enjoy!" It's that special kind of tech industry dark humor where we've all been burned by the "free" label. This is basically every "free tier" announcement ever made. Sure, we'll give you the exact thing that's completely useless or potentially harmful to your specific situation. Like offering unlimited storage to someone with no internet connection. Thanks for nothing! The real kicker is how many likes and reposts these announcements get. We're all just digital hamsters running on the hype wheel at this point.

Left side: Regular person confidently declaring they feel "totally safe using Tesla Autopilot." Right side: Programmers who actually wrote the code having an existential crisis because they know exactly what lurks in those if-else statements. Nothing makes you question mortality like knowing the corner cases your code doesn't handle. The same programmers who put "// TODO: Fix this later" in production code are now responsible for keeping your car between the lines.