Time Heals All Sprints

The ultimate developer survival strategy: strategic procrastination. Why fight the never-ending stream of tasks when you can simply outlast your Project Manager? The turtle isn't slow—it's tactical. While that anxious little snail is freaking out over deadlines, our shell-backed hero is playing the long game. Project managers come and go, but technical debt is forever. The best part? When the new PM arrives, they'll have no idea which tasks were actually impossible versus which ones you just didn't feel like doing. Checkmate, management.