Split Phase Struggle

The eternal project management cycle: asking developers for two days to write unit tests? Skeptical SpongeBob with raised eyebrow. Hiring expensive consultants to build a test automation framework that'll be abandoned in 3 months? ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTED SpongeBob. The same PM who won't allocate time for basic testing will somehow find budget for a six-figure automation solution that nobody on the team knows how to maintain. Then we'll all act surprised when the codebase is still a dumpster fire six months later.

The duality of developer confidence is just *chef's kiss*. Top panel shows you smashing out code like an unstoppable green rage monster, demolishing problems and feeling invincible. Then comes the code review with senior devs and suddenly you're a shameful hulk with imposter syndrome, wondering how you ever thought your hacky solution was acceptable. Nothing humbles you faster than having three people stare at your variable names and ask "but why though?" in perfect unison.

HR: "Do you work in Agile?" Developers everywhere: *silent screaming* The truth hits harder than a failed production deployment at 4:59 PM on Friday. Whether you choose Waterfall (one big sequential pile of 💩) or Agile (the same pile, just broken into multiple sprints of 💩), you're still dealing with... well, you know. The only real difference? In Agile, you get to experience the disappointment in two-week increments instead of all at once. It's like choosing between getting punched once really hard or getting slapped repeatedly for eternity. Such innovation. Much methodology.

The skeleton weightlifter meme perfectly captures the software development lifecycle under ambiguous specs. Your body (the dev team) starts with optimistic strength, ready to build something amazing, but those "vague product requirements" are the real gains-killer. Without clear specs, even the most talented engineers transform robust architecture into spaghetti code faster than you can say "scope creep." The skeleton represents what's left of your sanity after the fifth pivot in requirements this sprint. No wonder sharing this in company Slack requires bravery—product managers might recognize themselves!

Ah yes, the fragile developer ego in its natural habitat. You spend hours carefully crafting a pull request, only to have someone point out you misspelled a variable name, and suddenly they're typing a 5,000-word essay on why your entire approach is fundamentally flawed and possibly a crime against computer science itself. The code review comments start with "Not to be pedantic, but..." and end with them questioning every decision you've made since learning to code. And they say elephants never forget - developers certainly don't forget who criticized their precious algorithms.

Behold, corporate problem-solving at its finest. One developer in a hole actually doing the work while eight people stand around "supervising." The two project managers are probably discussing which Jira board to create while the "analysts" (air quotes required) prepare PowerPoints about the hole. Meanwhile, the designer is concerned about whether the dirt pile has proper user affordances. The customer liaison is just there to say "the client wants it deeper" every 15 minutes.