Programming Or Hate Myself

Programming Or Hate Myself
The classic programmer's dilemma: feeling miserable, then discovering that C++ is somehow an even more effective form of self-loathing. It's like choosing between regular depression and depression with manual memory management, segmentation faults, and template error messages that span 47 lines. At least regular sadness doesn't require you to understand the Rule of Five or why your destructor just caused a core dump. C++ takes "hating yourself" and adds undefined behavior as a feature, not a bug.

Without Borrowing Ideas, True Innovation Remains Out Of Reach

Without Borrowing Ideas, True Innovation Remains Out Of Reach
OpenAI out here defending their AI training on copyrighted material by saying the race is "over" if they can't use it. Meanwhile, they're getting roasted with the car thief analogy: "10/10 car thieves agree laws are not good for business." The irony is chef's kiss. Tech companies built entire empires on intellectual property protection, patents, and licensing agreements. But suddenly when they need everyone else's data to train their models, copyright is just an inconvenient speed bump on the innovation highway. It's like watching someone argue that stealing is actually just "unauthorized borrowing for the greater good of transportation efficiency." Sure buddy, and my git commits are just "collaborative code redistribution."

Works On My Machine

Works On My Machine
Oh honey, the AUDACITY of this commit message! Our dear developer just casually dropped "I'M SO STUPID" as their commit message after realizing they hardcoded their entire local file path like it's 1999. Behold the crime scene: they went from /.../ to a nice, clean relative path ./out/build/x64-release . You know, like someone who understands that OTHER PEOPLE exist and might want to run this code on their machines too! The classic "Works On My Machine" energy is absolutely RADIATING from this commit. Nothing quite captures the developer experience like confidently pushing code that only works in your specific environment, then having to do the walk of shame 4 hours later with a self-deprecating commit message. We've all been there, bestie. We've ALL been there.

Snap Back To Reality

Snap Back To Reality
Nothing ruins a developer's flow state faster than a senior dev gatekeeping what "real engineering" looks like. Junior was vibing with his lo-fi beats and cute VS Code theme, probably knocking out features left and right. Then comes the senior with a memory leak in some ancient C++ module nobody's touched since the Bush administration, demanding manual tracing without AI tools because apparently suffering builds character. Six hours of staring at a black screen while senior takes a 2-hour tea break? That's not mentorship, that's hazing. The username "@forgot_to_kill_ec2" is just *chef's kiss* – nothing says "us-east-1 Survivor" quite like forgetting to terminate instances and watching your AWS bill skyrocket. Welcome to the real world indeed, where your zen coding session gets replaced by pointer arithmetic nightmares and existential dread.

We Don't Just Create We Innovate

We Don't Just Create We Innovate
When your product manager asks for "innovative OAuth options" and you take it as a personal challenge. Sure, Google and GitHub are fine, but have you considered logging in with a potato ? Or better yet, your credit card details because security is just a social construct, right? Nothing screams "enterprise-ready SaaS" quite like "Login with Beef Caldereta" or "Login with your mom." The dev who built this either has the best sense of humor or completely gave up on life halfway through the sprint. "Login with Settings" is particularly inspired—why authenticate users when you can just... authenticate the concept of configuration itself? My personal favorite is "Login with Form 137"—a Filipino school document. Because nothing says seamless user experience like requiring academic records from elementary school. The fingerprint option looks downright boring in comparison.

Java Vs Jython Or Python

Java Vs Jython Or Python
The eternal triangle of programming language drama, except one side is literally just a hybrid nobody asked for. Java and Python are out here living their best lives with massive communities and endless job postings, while Jython is sitting in the corner like "remember me? I let you run Python on the JVM!" Jython is that awkward middle child trying to bridge Java and Python together, combining the "write once, debug everywhere" philosophy of Java with Python's syntax. The problem? It's stuck on Python 2.7 (yes, you read that right), making it about as relevant as a floppy disk drive in 2024. The real kicker is how everyone's fighting over Java vs Python while Jython is desperately waving its hands like "I'm both! Love me!" Spoiler alert: nobody does. When you want Java's performance, you use Java. When you want Python's simplicity, you use Python. When you want both? You probably just use microservices and call it a day.

When The Code Is Written Entirely By AI

When The Code Is Written Entirely By AI
Rick confidently throws a portal at the wall, expecting it to work. Cut to him staring at a wall covered in nested if-statements with zero logic inside them. That's your AI-generated codebase right there. You ask ChatGPT for a simple function and it gives you seven layers of conditionals that all check the same thing. No else blocks, no early returns, just pure chaos wrapped in the illusion of structure. Sure, it might technically run, but good luck explaining to your team why there are 47 if-statements doing absolutely nothing productive. The best part? The AI will confidently tell you it's "optimized" and "follows best practices." Meanwhile you're left refactoring what looks like a choose-your-own-adventure book written by someone who's never heard of boolean logic.

Is This Why It's Taking So Long?

Is This Why It's Taking So Long?
When Rockstar announced GTA 6 after what felt like a geological epoch, everyone wondered what the devs were doing all this time. Turns out they've been stuck on line 1 of main.py, meticulously crafting the perfect "Hello World" statement. At this rate, we'll get the full game sometime around when Python 47 releases. The juxtaposition of the most anticipated AAA game in history with literally the first line of code any beginner writes is *chef's kiss*. It's like saying NASA spent 10 years calculating 2+2. The developers are probably too busy optimizing that print statement to O(1) complexity and writing unit tests for it.

Prompt Engineer Vs Sloperator

Prompt Engineer Vs Sloperator
The tech industry's newest identity crisis captured in two faces. On the left, "Prompt Engineer" looks appropriately concerned about their job title that basically means "I'm really good at asking ChatGPT nicely." On the right, "Sloperator" is giving that smug look of someone who just realized they can combine "SRE" and "DevOps" into something even more pretentious. For context: A "sloperator" is the lovechild of a sysadmin, a developer, and an operations engineer who's too cool for traditional labels. They probably have kubectl aliased to 'k' and think YAML is a personality trait. Both roles are real, both sound made up, and both will be replaced by something even more ridiculous next year. Remember when we were just "programmers"? Simpler times.

How To Go Deeper Guys

How To Go Deeper Guys
You know you've reached peak programmer enlightenment when someone asks you to "go deeper" and you're already writing raw machine code. Like, what's next? Flipping transistors by hand? Communicating directly with electrons using telepathy? For context: machine code is literally the lowest level you can go—it's pure binary instructions that the CPU executes directly. Below that is just physics and existential crisis. So when you're already at rock bottom and someone wants you to dig deeper, you might as well grab a shovel and start mining for silicon. The only way to go deeper from machine code is to become one with the hardware itself. Maybe start manually setting voltage levels on the motherboard? Or perhaps rewrite the laws of quantum mechanics? Good luck with that.

Y'All Are Gonna Hate Me For This, But It'S The Truth

Y'All Are Gonna Hate Me For This, But It'S The Truth
So apparently the future of coding is just naming functions like you're writing a novel and letting Copilot/ChatGPT do the heavy lifting. The function name divideMp4IntoNSegmentsOfLengthT() is so descriptive it basically is the documentation, and boom—the AI autocompletes an entire ffmpeg command that would've taken you 30 minutes of Stack Overflow archaeology to piece together. The controversial take here? Maybe we're entering an era where understanding the actual implementation matters less than being good at prompt engineering your function names. It's like pair programming, except your partner is an AI that never takes coffee breaks and doesn't judge your variable naming conventions. The real kicker is that this actually works surprisingly well for glue code and CLI wrangling. Just don't ask the AI to implement a red-black tree from scratch—it'll confidently give you something that compiles but has the time complexity of O(n²) when you sneeze.

My Courses

My Courses
You buy 47 Udemy courses during that $9.99 sale because "this is the year you finally learn machine learning AND blockchain AND Flutter." Fast forward six months: you've completed exactly 8 minutes of one intro video and those courses are gathering digital dust while you panic-Google the same Stack Overflow answers you always do. The kid taking one bite and abandoning perfectly good apples captures the developer learning experience with surgical precision. That "Complete Python Bootcamp" you bought in 2019? Still sitting at 2% progress. But hey, at least you're ready to learn when motivation strikes at 3 AM on a random Tuesday.