Windows 2000: The Colossus That Broke The Y-Axis

THE ABSOLUTE AUDACITY of software! One second it's having a full-blown meltdown, crashing, freezing, and practically setting your computer on fire. Then the MILLISECOND you open Task Manager to end its miserable existence, it's suddenly performing like it just came back from a spa retreat! 💅 It's like that friend who's "too sick" to help you move but miraculously recovers when there's free pizza. The digital equivalent of a toddler behaving perfectly the moment grandma walks in. I'm convinced our programs have tiny digital eyes watching our every mouse movement, ready to get their act together at the first sign of consequences!

Nothing screams "technically accurate benchmark testing" like comparing your laptop's battery life to your failed relationship. This guy just created the most relatable unit of measurement in tech history—the "ex-girlfriend duration." The perfect 5-star review doesn't just evaluate specs—it absolutely destroys someone named Supriya in the process. Touchpad responsiveness: excellent. Two-way communication: superior to ex. Fingerprint recognition: exclusive access guaranteed (unlike someone's loyalty, apparently). This is what happens when you let heartbroken engineers write product reviews. The laptop gets 5 stars, Supriya gets -1, and 156 people found his emotional damage "helpful."

Content How almost every Stack Overflow question looks to me How do I do this thing? I'm not aware of how to use Google, how do I do this basic thing in Language X? 43 coding question share improve this question 4 edited Apr 2'12 at 8:13 1 Grammar Nazi 2.5M 739 70 5 Answers Lazy but functional answer with no extensibility 12 share improve this answer asked Feb 1 '10 at 16:27 133720 Er 2010306 active oldest votes answered Feb 1 '10 at 16:30 - Joe the Coder : 1,230 3 14 25 That's perfect! I'm never checking back here again! - 13370r Feb 1'10 at 16:42 A lot of people think you should do it in a lazy way, however in the long run it will help you if you read this 248 well eloquent wall of text that acutely describes problems you will inevitably face but not take the time to read about here; enjoy these code samples and illustrations I pulled from thin air anyway! share improve this answer answered Feb 1 '10 at 16:30 WTF look at my points 34M 400 150 60 The official way to do this is link. share improve this answer 18 answered Feb 1'10 at 16:29 Professional Coder 5.241 0224 63 Uh.. No thanks, this is too hard. Can you give me an example of how my code should look when complete? - 1337z0 Feb 1 '10 at 16:41 1 agree tagged coding 155474 question 37256 asked 3 years ago viewed 43962 times active 1 month ago Community Bulletin event Microsoft can help you port your app to Windows 8 - win prizes with Apptivate! - now through June 7 Work. From Home. If you are a dogs ..ill CAREERS 2.0 ...Ill CAREERS 2.0 There really are jobs for coders available! Not for you though. Kiersted Systems Houston, TX relocation Highly paid, competitive benefits; that one language you didnt learn.

Content Graeme Coleman graemecoleman Hello, my name is Graeme, I have a PhD in computing, and I am a senior accessibility consultant, but when I want to type "" on a Windows laptop 1 go to Beyonc's Wikipedia page and copypaste the letter from there.

Ah yes, the classic "596523 hours 14 minutes" power mode option. That's approximately 68 years of screen time before your device goes to sleep. Perfect for those who want their great-grandchildren to see that half-finished code they were working on. Still more reasonable than some Windows update timeframes.

The bizarro world has arrived! In this alternate reality, Windows is the free, open-source underdog while Linux requires activation like some kind of corporate overlord. Next thing you know, Linus Torvalds will be wearing turtlenecks and charging $999 for terminal access. The true nightmare isn't blue screens anymore—it's having to enter a 25-digit Linux activation key you found taped to the bottom of your Tux plushie.