The Windows Update Betrayal

NASA sent humans to the actual moon using computers with 4KB of RAM—roughly the size of a modern email signature. Meanwhile, your beast of a machine with an RTX card and 16GB of RAM crashes because you dared to open a second Chrome tab while Photoshop was running. The digital equivalent of a Ferrari that stalls when you turn on the radio. Progress?

Content How to fix any computer Windows Step I Reboot Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step a Step a Format hard drive, Reinstall Windows Lose all your fies. Quietly weep. Apple Step I Take it to an Apple store Did that fix it? Nor Proceed to step a Step a Buy a new Mac. Overdraw your account Quietly weep. Linux Step h Learn to code in C Recompile the kernel. Build your own microprocessor out of spare silicon you had lying around. Recompile the kernel again: Switch dietros. Recompile the kernel again but this time using a CPU powered by refracted light from Saturn. Grow a giant beard Blame Sun Microsysters. Turn your bedroom into a server closet and spend ten years falling asleep to the sound of whirring fans. Switch distros again. Abandon all hygiene. Write a regular expression that would make other programmers cry blood. Learn to code in Java. Recompile the kernel again (but this time while wearing your lucky socks). Did that fix it? Nor Proceed to step a Step a Revert back to using Windows or a Mac. Quietly weep

That moment of pure terror when you hit the power button on your first custom PC build. Tom and Jerry perfectly capture the mix of excitement and absolute dread as you pray to the silicon gods that your cable management skills haven't created a mini Chernobyl. The best part? That split second where you cover your ears because somewhere deep down you're convinced that misplaced RAM stick is about to send your $2000 investment into orbit. And then... it boots! Suddenly you're a hardware genius who definitely knew what they were doing the whole time.

Content Windows 95 Setup Software License Agreement Please read the following license agreement. Press the PAGE DOWN key to see the rest of the agreement. NOTE ON JAVA SUPPORT. THE SOFTWARE MAY CONTAIN SUPPORT FOR PROGRAMS WRITTEN IN JAVA. JAVA TECHNOLOGY IS NOT FAULT TOLERANT AND IS NOT DESIGNED. MANUFACTURED. OR INTENDED FOR USE OR RESALE AS ONLINE CONTROL EQUIPMENT IN HAZARDOUS ENVIRONMENTS REQUIRING FAIL-SAFE PERFORMANCE, SUCH AS IN THE OPERATION OF NUCLEAR FACILITIES, AIRCRAFT NAVIGATION OR COMMUNICATION SYSTEMS. AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL, DIRECT LIFE SUPPORT MACHINES, OR WEAPONS SYSTEMS. IN WHICH THE FAILURE OF JAVA TECHNOLOGY COULD LEAD DIRECTLY TO DEATH, PERSONAL INJURY, OR SEVERE PHYSICAL OR ENVIRONMENTAL DAMAGE. Do you accept all of the terms of the preceding Microsoft License Agreement? If you choose No, Setup will close. To install Windows 95, you must accept this agreement. Yes No

When your developer friend says they're "just customizing their boot screen" but actually they've replaced the UEFI splash with an anime girl calling them "senpai." Nothing says "I'm a serious professional who writes mission-critical code" quite like having your computer address you as a "good boy" during startup. The duality of programmers: can architect complex systems by day, creates waifu boot screens by night. The real reason they never let IT support touch their machine.

Content What the hell is this ? Windows 10 Windows 11 Linux Android