Real Flex

The AUDACITY of laptop manufacturers! First they MURDERED our precious PS/2 ports, then VGA got BRUTALLY slaughtered, HDMI is bleeding out, and USB-A is literally being STABBED TO DEATH as we speak! And for what?! So the Grim Reaper of connectivity can knock on the 3.5mm jack's door next?! THE HORROR! 💀 Meanwhile, we're all frantically buying dongles like apocalypse survivors hoarding canned beans. "But it's 0.02mm thinner!" they say, as if that justifies this PORT GENOCIDE. I'm typing this from a laptop that's basically just a screen with attitude and NOTHING ELSE!

Content Me: opening a shell Windows: YOU HAVE NO POWER HERE

The corporate tech evolution in one perfect comic! Top panel: Apple guy compliments Susan, she's flattered. Bottom panel: Windows Vista guy says the exact same thing, and suddenly she's calling HR. It's basically the tech version of the "be attractive, don't be unattractive" rule. Apple gets away with everything while Windows Vista—literally the most universally hated OS in history—gets reported faster than it crashes. The irony is brutal. In tech, your market reputation determines whether the exact same behavior is "charming" or "call security immediately." Microsoft fans in shambles right now.

You know you're dealing with a programmer when someone suggests "install windows" as a solution to overheating and they get YEETED out the window faster than a rejected pull request. Everyone else is playing it safe with "air conditioners" and "fans" like reasonable human beings, but this absolute legend went full literal-interpretation mode. The office is hot? Just install some WINDOWS. You know, those glass things in walls that let air in? Revolutionary thinking, really. The boss's face says it all: "I asked for practical solutions, not dad jokes from a systems administrator." But hey, the solution WOULD work. It's just that nobody appreciates genius when it involves defenestration and a complete misunderstanding of context. Classic programmer move: solving the wrong problem with perfect logic.

Content Just booted up my windows pc only to find out that Melinda Gates has already taken her half.

Congratulations on your accidental journey to the dark side of Microsoft development! Clicking Visual Studio instead of VS Code is like ordering a tank when you just needed a bicycle. One's a lightweight code editor that opens in seconds, the other is a 10GB industrial-strength IDE that takes so long to load you could literally grow a beard while waiting. The astronaut's grim realization that his "little maneuver" will cost "51 years" perfectly captures that moment of dread when you see that loading bar crawl across your screen at glacial speed. Your quick edit just turned into a commitment longer than most marriages.