At Least Windows Has Been Consistent...

The eternal struggle of PC building in 2023. You're all excited about that shiny new PC upgrade, maybe even drooling over those fancy PCMRs (PC Master Race setups), until DDR5 prices show up and grab you by the wallet. It's like going to a restaurant, checking out the menu, and then flipping it over to see they charge $15 for a side of fries. Suddenly your enthusiasm gets body-slammed by economic reality. The dream of 128GB DDR5 RAM running at light speed? That'll be one kidney, please. No wonder we're all still rocking DDR4 while pretending we're "waiting for the technology to mature."

STOP EVERYTHING! The character is wearing BLUE and sitting against a YELLOW background! It's the Visual Studio mascot being passed off as Xbox's new face! The audacity! The betrayal! Microsoft really said "why create new characters when we can just recycle our dev tools icons?" Next thing you know, Clippy will be announcing the next Halo game and the Windows paperclip will be demanding $70 for the base edition. The corporate synergy is just TOO MUCH to handle!

Microsoft's product strategy in a nutshell: throw everything at the wall, see what sticks, then pretend the blood puddles were part of the plan all along. Windows Phone? Dead. Skype? Somehow still technically alive but nobody's checking for a pulse. Windows 10? They promised it would be the "last version of Windows" then immediately started working on Windows 11. Meanwhile GitHub is just chilling in the corner, the golden child acquisition that actually worked out. Probably because Microsoft learned their lesson: buy successful things and don't touch them too much. Revolutionary strategy, really. The "EEE" reference is *chef's kiss* - that's "Embrace, Extend, Extinguish," Microsoft's infamous strategy from the 90s where they'd adopt open standards, add proprietary features, then kill the competition. Now they're just extinguishing their own products. Character development, I guess?

When your SSD dies and you're forced to boot from USB, time suddenly becomes a theoretical concept. What used to take seconds now requires a coffee break, bathroom visit, and existential crisis. The monkey meme perfectly captures that moment of self-realization when you're complaining about your "slow" SSD but then remember you're currently running your entire OS off what's essentially a digital popsicle stick held together with hopes and prayers. Nothing makes you appreciate modern storage speeds quite like watching your cursor transform into a sundial.

Ever been forced into "pair programming" by a manager who has no idea what coding actually involves? Yeah, that's not collaboration—that's just having five people breathing down your neck while Windows decides it's the perfect time for an update. The poor dev is just trying to code with an audience of managers expecting miracles while the system is literally unusable. And the best part? Someone's already mentally writing your obituary when you inevitably fail to "fix bug" during this corporate theater of the absurd. Pair programming works great in theory. In practice? It's just another word for "public execution by keyboard."

Content Name O Antimalware Service Executable Windows Modules Installer Wor... N Windows 10 Setup A Microsoft Windows Search Inde... 88 CPU 30.8 22.7 15.9 3.3 84 Memory 201.4 MB 84.3 MB 1.2 MB 23.1 MB 48 Disk 0.3 MBs 0.9 MBs 5.5 MBs 0.1 MBs