When You Only Know HTML

The AUDACITY of web developers just slapping !DOCTYPE html at the top of every file like some magical incantation! 💅 Honey, we're all just copying and pasting that declaration like it's a secret recipe ingredient. Does anyone ACTUALLY know what it does? It's basically the web development equivalent of adding salt to your soup - you're not sure how much you need, but you know everything breaks without it! The browser's like "tell me what language you're speaking or I'll have a TOTAL meltdown," and we're like "fine, take your DOCTYPE, you dramatic little rendering engine!" 🙄

JavaScript, you absolute TROLL! 🙄 First you tell us NaN stands for "Not A Number" and then have the AUDACITY to claim its type is 'number'?! The BETRAYAL! The DRAMA! The INCONSISTENCY! It's like JavaScript is gaslighting its own developers with this nonsense. "I'm not a number, but also I AM a number." Pick a lane, JavaScript! This is why developers need therapy!

The AUDACITY of developers to describe their job with such grandiose terms! 💅 From "I design and build complex software systems" (yawn) to the more modest "I create websites and applications" (still pretentious), until we descend into the brutally honest "I write text on a computer" and "I press keys on a keyboard." But that final form—"I force electrons to do math"—is where the cosmic enlightenment happens! It's like watching someone's ego deflate and then suddenly TRANSCEND to quantum physics! The brain gets more illuminated with each level of self-awareness. Next time someone asks what I do, I'm skipping straight to "electron taskmaster" and watching their face melt.

The classic developer-client relationship in its natural habitat! Person A desperately asks "how can we fix this?" about some UI issue. Person B, clearly the developer, responds with a technical solution about rotating text 90 degrees vertical. Then comes the inevitable "Can you show that cell of code?" request because clients never trust that something might actually be complicated. And what happens? The developer goes silent, fires up Jupyter notebook on localhost, and dives into their actual interesting work instead. Nothing says "I'm done with this conversation" like sharing a localhost URL that nobody else can possibly access. Pure passive-aggressive developer poetry.

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute BETRAYAL! 😱 You're telling me this "revolutionary" Rust GUI framework is just JavaScript wearing a trench coat?! The AUDACITY! It's like ordering a fancy artisanal coffee and discovering it's just instant coffee with extra foam! Developers spent YEARS escaping JavaScript's chaos only to find it smuggled back in through the Rust basement window! This is the programming equivalent of finding out your vegan burger is actually 100% beef. TRUST ISSUES ACTIVATED! 💔

When your coworker suggests naming the new job board "foojobs" without doing a basic Google search first. Nothing says "professional developer platform" quite like being sandwiched between adult content sites! The irony of creating a "career platform for coders, hackers and builders" that's one typo away from an entirely different kind of job search. Somewhere, a product manager is frantically updating their resume.