It's All Webviews? Always Has Been

Ah, the classic developer workflow! Why spend 15 minutes reading documentation when you can spend 6 hours banging your head against the keyboard trying random solutions from Stack Overflow? The red puppet represents every developer I've ever code-reviewed for – staring at comprehensive docs one second, then immediately diving face-first into "fuck it, we ball" territory. This is why your production server is on fire right now. Your commit message might as well be "I have no idea what I'm doing but it works somehow."

This code looks like it was written by someone who learned programming through a fever dream and a ouija board. The Arabic variable names mixed with deeply nested parentheses create a perfect storm of "please kill it with fire." It's the digital equivalent of opening your friend's fridge and finding a container labeled "DO NOT OPEN" from 2019. When someone sends you this asking "can you help me fix it?" the only appropriate response is to fake your own death and move to another country.

So cargo watch gets deprecated in Rust and the replacement is bacon . Cool, fine, whatever. But then someone tries to use it with Bun (the JavaScript runtime that's trying to replace Node) and their gherkin—sorry, I mean gerkin , the Cucumber testing framework—starts throwing a fit. The beautiful chaos here is watching someone try to mix Rust tooling with JavaScript tooling while running Chai tests in a runtime that's basically speedrunning the "move fast and break things" philosophy. It's like ordering a bacon cheeseburger but the restaurant gives you a fish sandwich and your pickle is filing a complaint. Welcome to 2024, where we have so many tools that even their names sound like breakfast items and nobody knows what works with what anymore. Just wait until someone tries to run this with Deno and a side of Toast.

Finally, a Git manual that doesn't sugarcoat the existential dread. git reset as "pretending your last few hours of work never happened" hits harder than any merge conflict. Every developer has experienced that moment of divine intervention with git rebase , playing God with the timeline while silently praying nothing breaks. And let's not forget git blame - the digital equivalent of pointing fingers during a production outage. This glossary should be mandatory reading before anyone's allowed to touch a repository.

The eternal duality of a developer's skillset captured in one perfect image. Your backend code is a magnificent mansion with spiral staircases and chandeliers—elegant architecture, optimized algorithms, and beautiful design patterns that would make senior engineers weep tears of joy. Meanwhile, your frontend is literally a haunted house that should be condemned—CSS held together with duct tape, buttons that mysteriously shift 2px when you're not looking, and a responsive design that only responds with "please kill me." The best part? We all pretend this is normal. "Yeah, just ignore that UI glitch in Safari—it's a feature!"

OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY of schools asking students to compete in creating their website only to STEAL THE WINNER'S WORK! 🙄 It's the corporate equivalent of saying "Hey kids, design my logo for free, and I'll give the winner a shoutout on Instagram!" Except the prize is... absolutely nothing but the privilege of having your work exploited! Congratulations, you've just experienced your first taste of the tech industry's favorite pastime: getting professional work done for the bargain price of a gold star and a pat on the head! 💀