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Rejecting frontend work? Reasonable. Avoiding backend tasks? Understandable. But the weekend? That's the sacred runtime environment where all my personal processes finally execute without interruption. No standup meetings, no Jira tickets, just me and my neglected side projects that will definitely get finished this time. Definitely.

Internet Explorer just delivered the most savage comeback in browser history. Sure, it might take IE five minutes to load a single webpage, but at least it responds faster than that person who left you on read three weeks ago. The emotional damage is so severe our poor developer can't even sleep at night. Nothing hurts more than when the slowest browser in existence points out you're getting ghosted harder than a deprecated API. Brutal efficiency where it counts!

Vampires hiss at sunlight. Superman recoils from kryptonite. And programmers? They shield their precious retinas from the ungodly abomination known as light mode. The true mark of a senior developer isn't years of experience or complex algorithms mastered—it's the visceral, physical pain experienced when someone opens VS Code with default settings at 2 AM. Dark mode isn't a preference, it's a lifestyle choice that separates the professionals from the interns.

The most truthful breakdown of a developer's workday ever created. Only 1% actual coding? Sounds about right. The other 99% is just the supporting cast for those rare moments when you actually write a line of code that works. That 5% StackOverflow figure is suspiciously low though. Either the author is a genius or they're counting it as part of "googling errors" to hide their shame. And let's be honest, that 9% of synchronized screen-staring with colleagues is just the modern version of a tribal rain dance hoping the bug will magically disappear. The real propaganda here is that coffee only gets 15%. In reality, the entire pie chart should be floating in a sea of caffeine.

OH MY GOD, the AUDACITY of this login form! 💀 Imagine typing your super-secret password and the system basically screams "HEY EVERYONE, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!" Talk about the world's worst security design! It's like hiring a bodyguard who announces your social security number through a megaphone. The poor developer who created this monstrosity probably also keeps their house key under a doormat labeled "SECRET KEY HERE." I'm having heart palpitations just looking at this security nightmare!

OH MY GOD, the DESPERATION is REAL! 💀 Sentry's ad is basically BEGGING you not to click their own advertisement! They're literally saying "Don't click this. Help us lower our CPC." For the uninitiated, CPC stands for Cost-Per-Click, which means they're paying money EVERY TIME someone clicks their ad. So they've created this bizarre paradox where they're advertising... but asking you NOT to engage with their advertising?! The marketing team is clearly having an existential crisis! It's like putting up a billboard that says "Please don't look at this billboard, we're trying to save on eyeball fees!" Whoever approved this strategy deserves either to be fired or promoted to CEO immediately - there is NO in-between!