Cookie Cutter For Empty Jsons

The eternal lie every "full stack" developer tells themselves before crashing into CSS reality. Sure, you can write beautiful backend architecture that scales to infinity, but ask them to center a div and suddenly they're googling the same Stack Overflow answer for the 47th time. The smile-to-panic pipeline is approximately 0.2 seconds when someone mentions "responsive design" or "cross-browser compatibility." Backend devs masquerading as full stack is the tech industry's greatest magic trick.

Gravity, mostly. Neck pain after 20 minutes would kill this setup faster than a null pointer exception kills your app. Sure, dream coding positions look cool until you realize your spine isn't compatible with version 90° rotation. The real irony? This guy's probably dreaming about fixing all those bugs he created while coding in a normal position. Peak programmer efficiency: writing code while unconscious – finally matching management's expectations of how quickly features should be delivered.

The ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE of typing with Caps Lock on and hitting Shift for the first letter! Your brain says "make this professional" but your keyboard screams "tHIS IS WHAT YOU DESERVE!" It's the digital equivalent of wearing your underwear outside your pants - technically functional but COSMICALLY WRONG. The smug look says it all - your code now looks like it's having an existential crisis in the middle of a code review. Keyboard shortcuts: making programmers feel like idiots since the invention of the typewriter!

Someone wants to build ChatGPT for $500? Sure, and I want a Ferrari for the price of a bicycle. This freelance posting is the perfect example of clients who think you can just sprinkle some PHP and Node.js on a project and suddenly have a multi-billion dollar AI platform. OpenAI burned through hundreds of millions in compute costs alone, but sure, let's build that on a budget that wouldn't even cover a junior dev's weekly salary. The 51 desperate freelancers bidding on this are either wildly optimistic or planning to deliver a glorified if-else statement with a chat interface and call it "AI."

The irony of complaining you can't find a programmer girlfriend while she's sitting at home with the exact same setup as you, avoiding human contact for the same reasons. Two introverts in their natural habitats will never cross paths unless someone's Git repo gets accidentally forked. The plants are probably the most socially active entities in both apartments.

The Internet Explorer mascot is making a triumphant return on July 4, 2025, proudly declaring you can't spell "Independence" without "IE"! But in the second panel, reality hits hard as the browser gets bombarded with all the reasons it was phased out—inefficient, embarrassing, inferior, weird, ancient, retired, asinine, and simpleton. Poor IE finally gets the message and slinks away, muttering curses. It's the digital equivalent of that uncle who keeps showing up at family gatherings despite nobody inviting him anymore.