And A Million Vibe Coders Cried Out In Pain

Ah, the classic "astronaut with a gun" meme takes on web development! The poor soul just realized everything in modern frontend is basically glorified webviews and HTML wrappers. Electron apps, PWAs, React Native... we spent years learning fancy frameworks only to discover we're still just pushing divs around a screen. The Internet Explorer astronaut knows the truth - no matter how many shiny new logos we slap on it, we're all just writing HTML with extra steps. The circle of web dev life continues!

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of project managers questioning my PRECIOUS collection of 1000+ unused libraries! 💅 Listen, sweetheart, I don't come to YOUR desk and question why you have 47 Gantt charts for a project that was supposed to be done LAST YEAR. These libraries are my emotional support dependencies! Some developers collect stamps, I collect npm packages that I might use someday in that hypothetical perfect project that exists only in my dreams. And YES, our build time is 4 hours and our node_modules folder is larger than the known universe, but LOOK AT ALL THESE PRETTY PACKAGES! They're just sitting there... being neat! Is that a crime now?!

The duality of every developer who's spent more than 10 minutes wrestling with JSON files. In meetings: "It's a standardized data interchange format that enables cross-platform compatibility." In private: *keyboard smashing and cursing* "WHY WON'T THIS PARSE CORRECTLY?!" The professional facade crumbles faster than a JSON file with a missing comma. Let's be honest—we've all mentally replaced "MF" with exactly what it stands for while debugging at 2PM on a Friday.

The expectation vs. reality of CSS color names! Three menacing dragons labeled "red", "green", and "blue" look absolutely terrifying, while the fourth one labeled "grey" is derping out with its tongue sticking out. Meanwhile, "darkred", "darkgreen", "darkblue", and "darkgrey" are just slightly more saturated versions of the same colors. Frontend devs know the pain of trying to explain to clients why "lightsalmon" and "papayawhip" are legitimate color options but we can't just have a sensible naming convention. Thanks W3C, very cool.

Nothing says "I've transcended mere mortal programming" like writing JavaScript fetch requests on what appears to be a phone from 2007 with actual physical buttons. The 20% battery is the chef's kiss – clearly this developer lives dangerously. This is peak "I need to fix production NOW but I'm at my cousin's anime-themed birthday party." The code is surprisingly readable though! Gotta respect someone fetching videos with promise chains on what's essentially a calculator with a screen. The real question isn't what's stopping you from coding like this – it's why would anyone voluntarily choose this digital torture device when a proper keyboard exists somewhere in the world?

The crossover nobody asked for but everyone needed: Death Note meets web development! Light Yagami just discovered the ultimate weapon against buggy websites - simply write "JavaScript" in the Death Note and watch as every single webpage within a 50-mile radius crashes immediately. The callback hell is about to get a whole new meaning. Somewhere in Silicon Valley, a senior developer just felt a cold shiver down their spine without knowing why. That smirk says it all - he's not killing people, he's killing everyone's productivity for the next sprint.