Developer workflow Memes

Posts tagged with Developer workflow

Git Merge Only

Git Merge Only
A street sign that says "NO REBASE" with a symbol prohibiting two cars from being on top of each other. The perfect metaphor for Git workflows where rebasing is forbidden and merging is the only acceptable way to integrate changes. That senior dev who set up the repo rules is probably the same person who put up this sign. Both will fight you to the death if you try to maintain a clean commit history.

Git Workflow: The Ryanair Experience

Git Workflow: The Ryanair Experience
The harsh reality of Git commands visualized with brutal accuracy. Landing a plane? That's your git commit - looks smooth but you're still touching ground. Taking off with git push ? Sure, your code's airborne but there's always turbulence ahead in production. And then there's git add - literally passengers climbing stairs to nowhere in the middle of a desert. That's what happens when you stage files without knowing what the hell you're actually including. Seven years as a lead and I still catch juniors blindly adding everything with git add . and wondering why their API keys ended up on GitHub.

Better Than Conventional Debuggers

Better Than Conventional Debuggers
Left side: The poor soul who actually tries to use VS Code's built-in debugger, setting breakpoints, watching variables, and stepping through code like some kind of responsible developer. Right side: The enlightened being who just dumps random gibberish to the console and somehow triangulates the bug's location through pure chaos. No time for proper debugging when you can just print("kljrijeghrophrt"); and ctrl+F your way to salvation. After 15 years in this industry, I've learned that proper debugging tools are for people with deadlines that aren't "yesterday." The rest of us are just out here keyboard-smashing our way through production issues while the senior architect is in another meeting about agile transformation.

I Don't Want To Compile With You Anymore

I Don't Want To Compile With You Anymore
Ah, the moment you find that promising GitHub project with 5k stars, only to discover you need to compile it from source. Suddenly your enthusiasm evaporates faster than RAM in a Chrome tab. The classic developer dilemma: is this cool tool worth the 45 minutes of dependency hell, or should you just keep using your janky workaround that "mostly works"? Nine times out of ten, that project stays uncompiled, forever living in the graveyard of "cool things I'll try someday."

The Evolution Of Version Control

The Evolution Of Version Control
The evolution of version control systems, as told by expanding brain memes: Git? Basic brain. Functional, gets the job done. The industry standard that everyone grudgingly accepts. SVN, Mercurial, TFS? Glowing brain. The legacy systems maintained by that one dev who still uses tabs instead of spaces and refuses to retire. Commenting changes in code? Galaxy brain. Because who needs actual version control when you can just leave cryptic notes like "// fixed stuff" and "// TODO: make better"? But the true enlightenment? Making a complete project clone every time you change something. That's not version control—that's just digital hoarding with extra steps. The "project_final_FINAL_v2_ACTUALLY_FINAL" approach to software development.

The Operating System Holy War

The Operating System Holy War
The holy war of operating systems, visualized as an IQ bell curve. The average devs (middle of the curve) are crying about needing Linux for coding. Meanwhile, both the "too simple to know better" folks and the enlightened geniuses have transcended the debate entirely—one thinks OS doesn't matter, and the other has ascended to some mythical "Temple OS" plane of existence. It's the perfect illustration of programming tribalism. After 15 years in the industry, I've watched countless junior devs have existential meltdowns over OS choice while the seniors just use whatever gets the job done. And then there's that one architect who built their own custom Gentoo setup that nobody else can comprehend.

Webpack Vs. Stack Overflow: The Real Developer Workflow

Webpack Vs. Stack Overflow: The Real Developer Workflow
Rejecting Webpack's complex configuration hell only to embrace Stack Overflow's copy-paste paradise. Why spend hours configuring module bundlers when you can just "borrow" code from the internet's largest debugging support group? The real 10x developer move is knowing exactly which answers to steal without reading the documentation.

The Highest Honor A Developer Can Bestow

The Highest Honor A Developer Can Bestow
The eternal love story between a developer and their IDE. We spend countless hours customizing it, learning all its shortcuts, and defending it in heated debates. Then when someone asks what amazing features it has, all we can offer is... "Pin to taskbar." The ultimate honor bestowed upon software in our world. It's like getting a participation trophy in the Olympics, but hey, at least it's always one click away from our desperate coding sessions.

The Three Stages Of Code Resumption

The Three Stages Of Code Resumption
The eternal struggle of picking up where you left off! The proper way? Detailed commit messages. The realistic way? Random notes. The galaxy brain way? Frantically mashing Ctrl+Z until you recognize something, followed by the inevitable panic of realizing you went too far and desperately hitting Ctrl+Shift+Z to recover. Nothing says "professional software engineer" quite like time-traveling through your code history via undo/redo shortcuts while muttering obscenities under your breath.

Your Tech Lead Is Dead

Your Tech Lead Is Dead
The Terminator's code review process is brutally efficient. Junior dev thinks creating a PR means they're done, but they've forgotten the most important part—getting their Tech Lead's approval. And just like the Terminator's cold delivery of bad news, there's no sugar-coating it when your TL has abandoned the project, gone on vacation, or worse... left for another company. Now your code is stuck in PR purgatory, neither alive nor dead, just waiting... forever.

Bug Priority Paradox

Bug Priority Paradox
The universal decision tree for bug prioritization in software development: 1. Is it easy to fix? → Immediately jumps to "I'll fix it immediately" 2. Actual importance? → *crickets* 3. Is it breaking production? → CRITICAL!!! The irony is painfully real. Developers will spend 4 hours fixing a one-pixel UI misalignment because it's "quick" but postpone refactoring that nightmare authentication system that's held together with duct tape and prayers. Then suddenly everything's on fire when it inevitably breaks.

The Text Editor Caste System

The Text Editor Caste System
The text editor hierarchy is real and it's brutal . At the top, Vim/Emacs users look down on everyone with their terminal superiority complex. In the middle, VSCode/Spyder folks think they've found the perfect balance between power and sanity. And then there's the poor soul using whatever text editor came pre-installed with Ubuntu, probably Gedit or Nano, just trying to survive while everyone else judges their life choices. The coding elite have created their own caste system, and your editor choice reveals exactly where you belong in the programming social hierarchy. The deeper you go into customizing your .vimrc file, the more insufferable you become to everyone around you.