The Chad Notepad Enjoyer

Full hazmat suits required for Vim extraction procedures. The desperate scribbling of "ESC :q!" is the universal distress signal among developers. Containment protocols dictate maintaining a safe distance from terminals running Vim without proper exit training. Some say the original developer is still stuck in there since 1991.

The existential crisis of Vim is too real. Imagine being one of the most powerful text editors in existence only to discover your primary purpose is opening config files that other devs forgot how to exit from. The robot's enlightenment moment hits hard because let's face it - we've all installed Vim, struggled with it for 20 minutes, then used it exclusively for editing Docker configs and Git commit messages for the next 7 years. The true tragedy isn't that Vim lacks purpose - it's that its incredible power is wasted on us mere mortals who just want to change one line in our .bashrc without having to Google "how to quit vim" for the 600th time.

The chart perfectly illustrates the eternal struggle of every coder who's lost hours of work to the void. That towering orange bar represents our unwavering faith in the magical ":w" command in Vim to write our changes to disk. Meanwhile, that pathetic purple stub shows how much we actually trust "ctrl+s" to save our work in other editors. Nothing quite matches the existential dread of hitting ctrl+s and wondering if it really saved or if your changes will vanish into the digital abyss. At least with Vim's :w command, you get that reassuring "written" confirmation that your precious 3-hour debugging session won't disappear when your cat inevitably knocks over your coffee onto your power strip.

The ultimate privacy solution: replace every Google service with Vim. Because nothing says "I value my digital freedom" like editing your emails with keyboard shortcuts that require a PhD to memorize. Want to check your calendar? Just type :calendar and pray you remember how to exit. Need directions? Good luck rendering Google Maps in ASCII. The irony of replacing ChatGPT with Vim is just *chef's kiss* - trading one text interface that understands you for one that makes you want to throw your computer out the window.

When your production server is infected with malware and the only way to communicate with the outside world is through Vim commands! That hazmat suit isn't protecting them from a virus - it's protecting them from the absolute horror of not being able to exit Vim. The desperate "ESC :q!" is the universal distress signal of developers trapped in the terminal abyss. Some say they're still trying to save and quit to this day...

Spotted in the wild: the elusive Vim purist, a developer so hardcore they've rejected modern comforts like autocomplete, AI assistants, and even search engines. This rare specimen navigates Arch Linux solely through cryptic man pages while typing raw code on a battle-scarred ThinkPad. It's like watching someone choose to chisel code into stone tablets when everyone else is using power tools. The "psychopath" label might be harsh, but let's be honest—this is the same energy as someone who insists on churning their own butter while living next door to a grocery store.