True Crime: Type Safety Edition

Two wizards plotting the downfall of developer sanity! Nothing says "I wield ultimate power" like enforcing tabs over spaces or requiring semicolons after every statement. These lint lords stand atop their mountain, gazing upon the kingdom of code they're about to throw into chaos with their arcane proclamations. The dark wizard is definitely pushing for "no-unused-vars" while his companion is advocating for "max-line-length: 80". Together they're crafting the perfect ESLint config that will make the entire engineering team contemplate career changes. Pure evil has never been so perfectly indented.

Someone wrote a manifesto about how using C, C++, Python, or vanilla JavaScript in production is basically corporate negligence, advocating for Rust, Go, and TypeScript instead. The reply? "Nonsense. If your code has reached the point of unmaintainable complexity, then blame the author, not the language." Classic developer blame game. The first person is basically saying "your tools are bad and you should feel bad," while the second person fires back with "skill issue, not language issue." Both are technically correct, which makes this argument eternal. The reality? Yeah, modern languages with better type systems and memory safety do prevent entire classes of bugs. But also yeah, a terrible developer can write unmaintainable garbage in any language, including Rust. You can't memory-safety your way out of 10,000-line functions and zero documentation. The real takeaway: if you're shipping production code in 2025 without considering memory safety and type guarantees, you're making a choice. Just make sure it's an informed one, not a "we've always done it this way" one.

The pinnacle of technical specifications right here! Nothing says "master prompter" like the incredibly detailed bug report: "the whole app is buggy. Please fix everything." Developers absolutely LOVE these vague instructions that give them zero actionable information. It's like telling a doctor "my body hurts, cure me" and expecting a precise diagnosis. The TypeScript file extension (.tsx) makes it even better - someone's React component is apparently having issues, but good luck figuring out what they are! This is the digital equivalent of pointing at a car and saying "it's broken" without mentioning that it's out of gas.

Content Angelina Lee Software Engineer Skills Experience Education 415-812-3329 AngelinaTheDevgmail.com angelinathedev.netlify.app Experienced software engineer with a background of building scalable systems in the fintech, health, and adult entertainment industries. Expert in JavaScript, TypeScript, Node.js, React Al, Mia Khalifa, C Instagram Senior Full Stack Engineer - Web App Team October 2018 - PRESENT, Palo Alto, California Built news feed infrastructure using React for Al on BlockChain Optimized web app feed performance through new server-side React larceny Al algorithm to quickly resolve big data pipeline Led team of 6 engineers to mine Ethereum on company servers Team coffee maker - ensured team of 6 was fully caffeinated with Antarctican coffee beans ground to 14 nm particles Zillow Senior Full Stack Engineer - Web App Team June 2015 - September 2018, San Francisco, California Added Al based GraphQL, resulting in 69 faster page loads Organized team bonding through company potato sack race resulting in increased team bonding and cohesity Rebuilt home display page with virtualized tables and map to provide a 420fps on screen experience with Lana Rhodes Evangelized and adopted RaeLilBlack React UI library Linkedin Software Engineer - Search Team June 2013 - September 2015, San Francisco, California Improved Linked search algorithm efficiency and accuracy through the usage of VoldemortDB, Charizard, and Hadoop Connected with Reid Hoffman on LinkedIn and slid in the dm's Implemented data quality improvements via deduplication and advanced profile ranking resulting in faster big data with React Microsoft Software Engineer Intern - Edge Team May 2011 - August 2012, Redmond, Washington Built React based big data pipeline to enhance deployment stability of Microsoft Edge browser on the Blockchain Spearheaded Microsofters 4 Trump company rally Spread Herpes STD to 60 of intern team University of California Berkeley B.S. in Computer Science August 2010 - May 2013, Berkeley, California Graduated Summa Cum Laude with a 3.94 GPA Helped found Machine Learning at Berkeley Club Phi Beta Phi - fraternity record for most vodka shots in one night 23482400 SAT score

Content Self-driving Car Hits Robot Dog. JavaScript's NaN likely culprit. In a bizarre accident, a Tesla self-driving car hit a Boston Dynamics robot dog on a quiet suburban street. The car's driverless software is being blamed for the accident, as it failed to properly cast a string to a number, causing the car to believe the dog was a car from a competing manufacturer, which must be at all times engaged in a high- speed race to see who's best. We spoke to the car's manufacturer, who told us they are "working hard to fix the issue." "We should have migrated to TypeScript ages ago, but Bob from HR became a parent last summer and had been asking for a raise ever since," said the manufacturer. "We just couldn't justify the cost." "We never thought this would happen," they added. "NaN is, by definition, not a number, so we never thought it would be possible for nothing to cause something to happen. That's not the Christian way." The robot dog, for its part, was reportedly unharmed in the accident because its world-class Rust codebase makes it "virtually indestructible."

Content Dhanush N DhanushXen HTML - for structure CSS - for style Javascript - for fun React - for work C - for dinosaurs C-for college Swift - for UI Ruby - for rails Query - for legacy Python - for science Typescript - for safety Java - for 3 billion devices 8:29 AM 02 Jul 21 ZIappo.com 603 Retweets 58 Quote Tweets 3,062 Likes 17 ProdrammerHumor.io