Papa Murphys Intern Tests In Prod

Content Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help" "trouble" "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew . Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half- caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht l'm keeping those

Content sion Matrix Type I error (false positive) You're pregnant Type Il error (false negative) You're not pregnant

Oh honey, Doxygen just asked "how's it goin?" and unleashed the GATES OF HELL! 😱 That diagram is what happens when your "clean code" meets reality - a catastrophic spider web of dependencies that would make even the most seasoned developer question their career choices. No amount of auto-documentation can save you from the nightmare that is spaghetti code. It's like putting lipstick on a garbage fire! The transition from "hey how's it goin?" to pure existential crisis is the most accurate representation of documentation day I've ever seen. Doxygen didn't just generate documentation - it generated a MAP OF YOUR SINS! 💀

Content My program on Localhost My program On production

Content 5 Story Points? Hmmm, maybe it's only 3 Story Points? 50! It was 50 points!!! Prodrammer-umor.io

The confidence-to-reality pipeline in software development is brutal. One minute you're smugly typing away, convinced you're crafting digital poetry that would make Knuth weep. The next minute your code's running around like a happy little psychopath with zero regard for your intentions or basic logic. That smug "Me writing great code" energy evaporates faster than free pizza at a standup meeting when you see what your creation actually does in production. The worst part? That bug looks so damn pleased with itself.