I Don't Even Write My Code Before Sending It Out

Content Java Developer Aclat, Incorporated Posted: Sep 29, 2014 DIVISION IT APPROXIMATE HOURS PER WEEK COMPENSATION Paid TYPE 40 Hrsweek DURATION 6 Months QUALIFICATIONS Any Degree DESCRIPTION JavaScript, also known as Java for short, is a scripting language that allows interactivity on websites. For instance, Java allows users to see different images Employer Profile based on where they scroll or click their mouse on the site. Java developers are the experts who work closely with team members, end-users and vendors to test and create websites that are easy to navigate for web visitors. Java developers are responsible for programming JavaScript on commercial websites to create moving images, drop-down menus, animation and different sounds and music. These professionals also work closely with JavaScript to enable security settings that validate users and process business transactions. Java developers frequently communicate with their management team and end-users to ensure that the scripting language addresses user and business requirements, improves website functionality, and enhances the overall design and usability of the site. Other duties for java developers include gathering and documenting user requirements, analyzing data and conducting unit and quality assurance testing. Java developers should be highly analytical and technologically savvy, with strong problem-solving skills. Employers prefer candidates who have expertise with JavaScript development, as well as experience working with HTML, JSP, EJB, Eclipse and Microsoft SQL Server. Candidates should also have a proficiency in Microsoft Excel and Microsoft Vise. The ability to pay close attention to detail, develop creative solutions for complex and abstract problems and concentrate for

When you've been staring at the same error message for 3 hours, a new one feels like winning the lottery. The bar is so low that we celebrate not fixing the problem, but merely breaking it in a different way. That desk full of crumpled papers and empty coffee cups? That's not desperation—that's the natural habitat of a developer making "progress." Remember kids, in debugging, moving sideways is still moving!

The bell curve of software development wisdom strikes again! In the middle, we've got the stressed-out middle manager screaming about "customer validation" and "alignment meetings" while crying tears of PowerPoint-induced despair. Meanwhile, at both ends of the IQ spectrum, the enlightened few have transcended to the zen philosophy of "ship it and see." Nothing beats the beautiful simplicity of pushing code to production and letting real users be your QA team. Sure, sometimes the server catches fire, but at least you're not stuck in your 7th alignment meeting of the week discussing theoretical edge cases that'll never happen. After 15 years in this industry, I've learned that most planning is just postponing the inevitable moment when reality crushes your beautiful architecture anyway.

OH. MY. GOD. This is the most SAVAGE takedown of unit testing I've ever witnessed! 😂 Unit tests are SUPPOSED to verify your code works correctly, but instead we get these ABSOLUTELY USELESS tests that just confirm the painfully obvious! "By 30 you should have been born" is LITERALLY the equivalent of writing tests that assert 1+1=2 or checking if a string is a string. The absolute DRAMA of spending hours writing tests that do nothing but state the bleeding obvious while your actual code is on fire somewhere else. I can't even!

Content SEB Import Expo Please wait patiently for the failure of the system. ProgrammerHumor io

Content THERE ARE ONLY 2 HARD THINGS IN COMPUTER SCIENCE: 0. Cache Invalidation 1. Naming Things 7. Asynchronous Callbacks 2. Off-by-one errors