Well This Is Awkward

Content HOW TO WRITE GOOD CODE: START PROJECT. DO THINGS RIGHT OR DO THEM FAST?, RIGHT FAST CODE FAST CODE WELL DOES ITWORK YET? NO ALMOST, BUT IT'S BECOME A MASS OF KLUDGES AND SPAGHETTI CODE. ARE NO YOU DONE YET? NO, AND THE REQUIREMENTS HAVE CHANGED, THROW IT ALL OUT AND START OVER. GOOD CODE

Content Maintaining a legacy monolith is hard, let's split it to microservices But we can't delay delivering business tasks either Now we have 50 legacy microservices that don't even work And all our developers have quit

You know that face you make when you're doing a code review and stumble upon someone allocating memory like they're running a server farm in 1995? That visceral disgust mixed with genuine concern for humanity's future? Yeah, that's the one. The hyper-specific "0.000438 seconds" is chef's kiss because we all know that one dev who profiles everything and then acts like 438 microseconds is the reason the quarterly metrics are down. Meanwhile, there's a nested loop somewhere doing O(n³) operations on the entire user database, but sure, let's focus on this memory allocation that happens once during initialization. The nose wrinkle and raised lip combo is what happens when you see someone creating a new ArrayList inside a loop that runs a million times. Or when they're allocating a 5GB buffer "just to be safe." Brother, the garbage collector is already crying.

Content Lawver Teacher Nurse Programmer

Content MOTHERFUCKER i spent like 6 fuckin hours yesterday tryna write loopholes, tryna make this thing work. Hours of different configs, code, physics simulations. Today I sat down, looked my my Server Entity, the piece of shit had fucking physics unchecked. Checked physics It works Kms

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