Tech Never Works For Long

When you work in IT, you develop trust issues with technology that would make a therapist weep. This person has gone full Amish-mode in their own home, rejecting every "smart" device like they're debugging their entire life. Mechanical locks? Check. Mechanical windows? Absolutely. OpenWRT routers? Of course—because when you've seen what happens behind the curtain, you're not letting some manufacturer's backdoor-riddled firmware anywhere near your network. And smart home devices? Those little data-harvesting gremlins can stay at Best Buy where they belong. The ultimate irony: spending your entire career making technology work for others while your own home looks like it time-traveled from 1985. It's not paranoia when you KNOW exactly how everything breaks, gets hacked, or phones home to corporate overlords. The cobbler's children have no shoes, but the IT worker's house has no IoT vulnerabilities!