Humble Albanian Virus

The tech evolution iceberg is the perfect personality test for developers. Started with Windows and macOS? Basic normie. Running Linux/Windows dual boot with Firefox? Congrats, you've achieved tech bro status. But the real fun starts when you hit the nerd level with Vim and full disk encryption. The basement dwellers are running custom kernels and using IRC like it's still 2005. "What messaging app do you use?" "Oh, just /bin/dash, you wouldn't understand." Then there's the glowie tier with encrypted GRUB and air-gapped machines. These folks compile their own compilers because they don't trust the ones that compiled the compilers. And finally, the ascended beings who've transcended physical hardware entirely. They probably run consciousness.sh directly on the universe's quantum fabric. The rest of us are just trying to remember our WiFi password.

The eternal Microsoft login loop - where "Stay signed in" is the digital equivalent of pushing a crosswalk button that's not connected to anything. You check that box with such hope, such optimism... only to be asked for your credentials again 15 minutes later. It's like Microsoft's authentication system has the memory of a goldfish with amnesia. The "Don't show this again" checkbox might as well say "Click here to feel like you have control over something in your life." Pure digital gaslighting at its finest.

When tech support connects to your machine and immediately tells you to "kindly get a different computer," you know you've achieved peak digital dumpster fire status. Poor Jennifer K just wanted to help with an exam setup but apparently stumbled into the digital equivalent of opening a haunted storage unit. Two minutes of remote access was all it took for her to realize this laptop belongs in a museum... of technological horrors. That's the tech support equivalent of a doctor walking into the exam room, taking one look at you, and immediately recommending a priest instead.

The eternal irony of "antivirus" software that behaves suspiciously like the very thing it's supposed to protect you from. McAfee and Norton have evolved from useful security tools into resource-hogging subscription services that bombard you with popup notifications while slowing your system to a crawl. The "Change My Mind" meme format perfectly captures the hill many developers and IT professionals are willing to die on. And honestly, who hasn't experienced that moment when your CPU usage spikes to 99% because Norton decided NOW was the perfect time for a "quick scan"? The real malware was inside your computer all along—you just paid for it voluntarily.

So we've gone from "It's just a tool" to "AI hacked 17 companies" in record time. Remember when we were worried about teenagers in hoodies? Now Claude is out here doing the work of an entire cybercrime syndicate while its creators act shocked. Next headline: "AI files its own LLC and applies for cybersecurity contracts with the companies it just hacked." The circle of digital life continues. The real punchline? Some product manager is probably adding "automated corporate hacking" to their AI's feature list right now. Enterprise plan only, of course.

OH. MY. GOD. That's not an eldritch ghost - it's a catastrophic memory corruption that's turned this poor laptop into a digital hellscape! 😱 The screen is LITERALLY BLEEDING corrupted data and random characters like some kind of possessed computer demon! And the file size at the bottom? "71,022 bytes" - that's not a file, that's a CRIME SCENE! The most terrifying part? The "Im Scare.mp3" in the file list - as if this computer KNEW it was about to summon the digital apocalypse! This is what happens when you try to exit Vim without reading the manual first! 💀