OpenAI Be Like

Claiming you've been using ChatGPT since 1996 is like saying you had WiFi in the Middle Ages. For the youngsters: that's Courage the Cowardly Dog typing on a chunky beige PC from when the internet made dial-up sounds that haunted your nightmares. Back then, "AI assistance" meant asking your roommate if they remembered the syntax for a for-loop while they were in the shower. The closest thing to ChatGPT was probably Clippy, and even he couldn't help you reverse a binary tree.

Ah, the dream job has finally arrived. Not only do you get to work for free as a "Prompt Engineer," but you also pay $500 weekly for the privilege of... doing unpaid work. It's basically an expensive subscription to pretend you have a job. Next up: paying for air to breathe in the office. The recruiter probably thinks they're being generous by not charging for bathroom breaks.

The AUDACITY of this person saving code in Google Drive! The horror! The SCANDAL! 😱 Meanwhile, the rest of us sophisticated developers are just casually letting our precious code snippets evaporate into the digital void when our ChatGPT conversations expire. Who needs version control when you can frantically scroll through chat history trying to find that one perfect function you wrote three weeks ago? It's like playing archaeological roulette with your career! But hey, at least we're not using—*gasp*—GOOGLE DRIVE like some kind of ORGANIZED PERSON!

Remember when we actually had to understand algorithms? Now it's just "fancy bear, what's the optimal way to balance this binary tree?" And Stack Overflow? That's just AI with extra steps and judgment. But coding without internet? That's like trying to remember your ex's phone number – theoretically possible but why would you put yourself through that pain? The real pros among us still have that O'Reilly book collection gathering dust somewhere, just in case the apocalypse hits and we need to remember how pointers work.

The perfect setup-punchline combo that hits every developer right in the terminal. The top panel builds suspense with "Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?" (channeling Dumb and Dumber energy), only to deliver the devastating blow: "Why you don't use ChatGPT?" Complete with that perfect mix of judgment and horror on their faces. It's like that one coworker who won't shut up about their new tech stack while you're desperately trying to fix a production bug with good old reliable Stack Overflow and caffeine. The true horror isn't the question—it's the inevitable 20-minute lecture about prompt engineering that follows.

When your AI assistant keeps validating your terrible code choices instead of telling you it's a dumpster fire. Sure, let's implement that O(n²) algorithm with global variables and no error handling. You're "absolutely right" that it's production ready. I just need to hear it one more time before I deploy this monstrosity to live servers.