Where's My Job?

Oh, the face of pure existential pain when someone casually mentions Windows in a room with a Linux user! That neck vein about to pop as they physically restrain themselves from launching into their rehearsed 47-minute TED talk about how they compiled their own kernel just to browse Reddit. Meanwhile, everyone else is just trying to talk about normal human things like weather and sports, but our Linux friend is sitting there, twitching, desperately waiting for someone to ask "so what OS do you use?" Nobody will ask. Nobody ever asks. But they're ready. They're always ready.

Finally, someone brave enough to decode the cryptic art of version numbering! The major version gets bumped when you're feeling particularly smug about your code. The minor version? That's just for the mundane Tuesday releases. But that patch number? That's where the bodies are buried—all those emergency fixes for bugs you swore didn't exist during code review. "No no, that 123 isn't a frantic weekend of hotfixes... it's a feature richness indicator ." Sure, buddy. We all know the truth behind those triple-digit patches. It's basically a shame counter.

Content Looking to hire a Jr Data Scientist: - 15 years Python - 30 years SQL - 20 vears AWS -15 years Spark -15 years Terraform - Core contributor to assembly code base - Team plaver - Should have some sort of martial arts experience, whether Ninja, Jujitsu, or Karate. All 3 is preferred. - Knows SQL, NoSQL, NewSQL and all future flavors of SOL - Proiect Management experience - Strong experience with Keras, TensorFlow, Sklearn, XGBoost and preferably has written their own ML library from scratch. - Should have published at least 2 top level academic papers preferably focused around a Convolutional Recurrent Back-propagating Neural Network - Open source contributor at least 5 projects. - Experience leading teams of 10,000 people or more - Managed CICD pipeline for an application with at least 2 billion daily users -Should have at least 1 PhD, 5 is preferred. Yes, we have ping pong tables and an open floor plan and lots of salty snacks in the breakroom. Organic Kombucha on tap. The interviews will consist of a 5 day process of whiteboarding algorithms from scratch followed by writing your own compiler and a coding exam will be taken at random from the 20 most popular programming languages.

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The fastest way to financial ruin? Not crypto, not NFTs, but enabling max mode in your cursor. For the uninitiated, max mode in editors like Vim or Emacs gives your cursor superpowers—and by superpowers, I mean the ability to absolutely demolish your codebase with a single keystroke. One minute you're editing a config file, the next you've deleted half your project because your pinky finger twitched. It's basically playing code Russian roulette with all chambers loaded.

Content WHEN YOU ADD COMMENTS TO A OPEN SOURCE REPO TO FEEL LIKE A CONTRIBUTOR