When Google Translate Reads Your Commit History

Content rAskReddit Posted by uAJ-Naka-Zayn-Owens 9h What unrealistic things in movies annoy the hell out of you? 15 1 10 10 14 11 4 28.0k 311 13.8k Share DisplacedYankee 7h 2 Awards An IT guygirl who knows everything about computers, networking, all operating systems, all applications, hacking, programming languages, etc...without consulting Google. Reply 4 15.4k J

The bell curve strikes again, proving that the simplest and most overcomplicated solutions somehow meet at the extremes of the intelligence spectrum. The minimalists on the left just want Notepad with syntax highlighting, the galaxy-brain folks on the right have transcended IDE bloat and returned to simplicity, while the middle is having a full meltdown demanding an IDE that probably writes their code, makes coffee, and predicts the future. The real comedy here is that both ends are objectively correct. You don't need a 2GB Electron app that takes 30 seconds to boot just to edit text files. But the middle section? They're convinced they need AI autocomplete, 47 extensions, a built-in browser, and probably a massage chair feature before they can write a single line of code. Meanwhile, Vim users are laughing in 0.001 seconds startup time.

The ultimate statistical irony: a bell curve meme about bell curves that perfectly follows... a bell curve. You've got the low-IQ folks who think bell curves are funny because "haha, pretty graph go brrr," the high-IQ intellectuals who appreciate bell curves for the exact same reason, and the middle-of-the-curve galaxy brains screaming "BAN BELL CURVES!!1!" with the intensity of someone who just discovered their entire codebase uses tabs instead of spaces. The distribution of opinions about bell curves literally forms a bell curve, and that's the kind of recursive humor that keeps me going through sprint planning meetings.

Content WinAR! I have something to give you! Hey Human! What files can I zip for you? System32Comics I actually want to pay you WinAR System32Comics

Content When its 4PM and you try to read the code you wrote at 3AM

That peaceful smile when you've had enough of merge conflicts and decide nuclear options are the only way forward. Nothing says "I'm done debugging this repository" like force pushing to master and walking away from the explosion. Sure, your colleagues might hate you tomorrow, but that's tomorrow's problem. Today, you choose chaos.