This Does Nothing

Content SECOND EDITION THE CE PROGRAMMING LAN fAT IAGE BRIAN W. KERNIGHAN DENNIS M. RITCHIE

The ancient art of story point negotiation: where developers give honest estimates and managers treat them like opening bids at an auction. Developer says 200 hours? "Too much." Manager counters with 20. Developer meets in the middle at 150. Manager scoffs and says "You just said 20!" So naturally, the developer lands on 83—because nothing screams "I've done rigorous analysis" like a prime number that's suspiciously close to the Fibonacci sequence. The real genius here is that 83 sounds oddly specific and scientific, like you've actually calculated something. It's the perfect middle finger wrapped in compliance—too weird to argue with, too confident to question. Manager thinks they won the negotiation, developer gets to say "I told you so" when the ticket takes 200 hours anyway, and everyone's happy until the retrospective. Fun fact: Story points were supposed to abstract away time estimates to focus on complexity, but here we are, still converting them back to hours and haggling like it's a used car dealership.

Content When someone pulls out this bad boy at a meeting you know REAL programming is gonna go down iPad made with mematic ProarammerHumor.io

The ultimate Linux desktop environment civil war, but make it wholesome! Nothing says "I'm a true open source hero" like using one desktop environment while financially supporting its arch-nemesis. It's like being a vim user who donates to the Emacs foundation—pure chaotic good energy. The Superman imagery is perfect because let's be honest, anyone running Linux in 2024 already thinks they're saving the world from the evil corporate empires. Meanwhile, Windows users are just trying to print a document without their computer deciding it's the perfect time for a 2-hour update. Fun fact: If all the energy spent arguing about GNOME vs KDE had been directed at actual development, we'd have had the year of the Linux desktop back in 2003.

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