The True Developer Dating Profile

github documentation version control Technical debt Developer life Project management Code reuse Coding habits Abandoned projects Self-referential

Programming Debugging Git

1 month ago 119,357 views 0 shares

abandoned-projects-memes, code-reuse-memes, github-memes, developer-life-memes, documentation-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Who needs romance when you've got abandoned projects, right? Nothing quite like the desperate midnight hunt through your GitHub graveyard looking for that one function you wrote 6 months ago. "I know I solved this exact problem before!" *frantically scrolls through 47 half-finished repos* The ultimate programmer relationship status: committed to nothing except finding that one piece of code you were "totally going to document later."

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The GitHub contribution graph: where your self-worth as a developer gets reduced to little green squares. We've got "Just a Developer" with their random sprinkles of productivity, "The Weekender" who only codes when normal people are partying, and "The Unrealistic Expectations" who apparently never sleeps, eats, or touches grass. Don't forget "Getting Ready to Search for a New Job" with that sudden burst of activity right before updating the resume. The "GitHub Wizard" trying to look consistently productive, "The Mondrian" creating actual art with their commits, and "The Cupid Shuffle" forming little hearts because... why code efficiently when you can make your contribution graph look pretty? Remember kids, quantity of commits ≠ quality of code. But try telling that to recruiters who think your GitHub activity is a personality test.

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3 years ago 17.3K views 0 shares

It seems we have reached heated coding hours | coding-memes, css-memes, program-memes, class-memes, perl-memes, error-memes, IT-memes, cs-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content verificationSpinner.end (true); await helpers. delay (2000); "Oh, why are you slowing down the program just so people have to stare at your checkmark?" Fuck you, I worked hard on getting that fucking checkmark to not be a piece of shit, and actually cancel properly when an error occured. I put blood, sweat, and tears into getting the Spinner class working, so I am going to leave it on the screen for people to see. I don't give a fuck if you think it's stupid, I will show my fucking checkmark for 2 seconds, you will stare at the fucking checkmark for 2 seconds, and you will be fucking happy that you stared at the fucking checkmark for 2 seconds. Literally, criticize any other part of my program, and I will be open to understanding and disucssion. You can call it trash, junk, say it's inefficient garbage, say I'm a piece I of shit who can go die in a hole, and I'd be fine with that. But I swear, as soon as you come for my decison to show a checkmark for 2 seconds, I am throwing fucking hands.

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3 years ago 10.4K views 0 shares

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Content Friends: How did you write this code so beautifully ? Me(Proudly): I STOLE IT