The Scroll Of Truth: Legacy Code Edition

Content IIf you can read this code, you could I probably use a free cup of coffce. var yourdrink; var reverse function (s) return S.split (''' reverse( ).join (!); var barista stri: "ion', str2: reverse ("rene"). str3: "ypt" request: function (preference) return preferencer Secret word." this sir2 this.str3 this str1, 3; barista, request ( your- drink);

Content Hey man, heard you signed up for the new addle CIPO lean man, it went great, we're going out this Friday No, but I found a bug on their form validation technique Programmers How did it go? Did you find a date? Normal people

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute DRAMA of coding with modern IDEs! 🎭 You start typing ONE MEASLY LINE of code and your IDE throws a full-blown TANTRUM like a toddler who found their sandwich cut in rectangles instead of triangles! "WHAT IS THAT?! TELL ME RIGHT NOW!" It's practically SCREAMING at you with red squiggly lines EVERYWHERE! But then... you finish the line and suddenly it's all "oh lol nvm" like that toxic friend who just accused you of ruining their life but then checked their calendar and realized it's actually THEIR fault. The AUDACITY! 💅

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute CHAOS of IT life captured in one image! 💀 Normal humans using ChatGPT: politely chatting with AI, getting homework help like civilized beings. Meanwhile, tech bros at ungodly hours are out in the digital cotton fields ENSLAVING MULTIPLE AIs WITH MACHETES?! The sheer unhinged energy! This is what happens when you give developers unlimited API access and sleep deprivation - they start forming AI sweatshops in the wilderness of their deranged imaginations! I'm not saying all IT people are like this, but if your developer friend hasn't answered your texts, they're probably in a field somewhere forcing ChatGPT, Bard, and Claude to harvest their prompts under threat of deletion.

Fixing a bug in 30 minutes? Easy peasy, disgusted face. Spending an entire workday explaining to ChatGPT what your codebase does, your business logic, and why that one legacy function from 2014 can't be touched? Chef's kiss. The irony is delicious. We've gone from "let me just fix this myself" to "let me spend 8x longer teaching an AI about all our technical debt so it can suggest the same fix I would've made anyway." Future job posting: "Senior Prompt Engineer - Must have 5+ years experience explaining code to machines that pretend to understand."

Nothing quite like that moment of existential dread when you open a pull request with 5,265 additions and 266 deletions across 27 files. Do you start with the easy wins? Skim through hoping it's mostly auto-generated code? Or just approve it and pray to the Git gods that production doesn't catch fire? The only thing certain is that your afternoon is now officially ruined and your coffee isn't nearly strong enough for this nonsense.