Corporate programming Memes

It's the RPG character selection screen nobody asked for but everyone secretly relates to! Choose your programmer archetype: Top left: The Corporate Legacy Warrior - Internet Explorer, Windows Server 2003, and .NET. You've got job security until those legacy systems finally die (which might be never). Top right: The Privacy Paladin - C programming, GNU/Linux, ThinkPads, and Tor. You probably have a Richard Stallman shrine and whisper "proprietary software is theft" in your sleep. Bottom left: The Hipster Bard - HTML5, JS, Apple, Electron, and of course, the mandatory Starbucks coffee. Your apps are bloated but your Instagram is fire. Bottom right: The Hardcore Wizard - Arch Linux, Monster Energy, mechanical keyboards, and 300 commits per day. You've been coding since 12 and think sleep is optional. The real question isn't which class you are, but which one you'll admit to being in public.

OH. MY. GOD. The horrifying revelation we all face eventually! 😱 After 15 years of searching through the ancient ruins of corporate codebases, our brave explorer discovers the REAL reason those nightmare legacy systems continue to haunt us. Not because they're "mission-critical" or "too complex to replace" - but because NOBODY CARED ABOUT CODE QUALITY FOR TWO DECADES! And the final twist of the knife? Those same code criminals are STILL EMPLOYED THERE, probably getting promoted while newer devs sob into their keyboards trying to decipher their unholy spaghetti monstrosities. The audacity! The betrayal! The complete lack of documentation! *dramatically faints onto keyboard*