Code standards Memes

Posts tagged with Code standards

Should've Kept It To Yourself Buddy
Programming Webdev React Javascript Frontend
11 days ago 73.2K views 0 shares
Should've Kept It To Yourself Buddy
Meeting your girlfriend's dad is stressful enough without mentioning you code in Vibe. Classic rookie mistake. The father was ready for the age-old tabs vs spaces debate—a proper programming holy war—but instead got hit with some trendy new framework. Nothing makes a senior developer's blood pressure spike faster than someone excited about yet another JavaScript abomination that'll be obsolete before the npm install finishes. Ten seconds is actually quite generous.

From Table Select Row: The SQL Rebellion
Databases Programming Backend
14 days ago 64.8K views 0 shares
From Table Select Row: The SQL Rebellion
Look at this SQL rebel trying to start a syntax revolution! The standard SQL query structure has been "SELECT columns FROM table" since the dawn of database time, but this maverick wants to flip the script with "FROM table SELECT columns." Sure, buddy. Next you'll be telling us we should put semicolons at the beginning of statements and write our code from bottom to top. The database gods established this order for a reason - probably just to watch junior devs squirm during code reviews when they mess it up. Changing SQL syntax now would be like trying to convince developers that light mode is better than dark mode - technically possible but morally questionable.

The Boolean Enum Manifesto
Programming Csharp Java Debugging
17 days ago 106.4K views 0 shares
The Boolean Enum Manifesto
Ah, the classic binary worldview of a programmer who's had enough of string comparisons! This enum brilliantly reduces all possible human responses to their purest form: Yes = 1 and No = 0 . What makes this extra hilarious is the excessive documentation for something so painfully obvious. Three lines of XML comments just to explain "Yes" and "No" is peak developer overkill. It's like writing a 20-page manual for a light switch. The cherry on top? The file history showing "0 authors, 0 changes" - as if this masterpiece of simplification materialized from the void itself, requiring no human intervention. It's code that writes itself because it's just that obvious!

The Double Standard Is Real
Programming Frontend Backend
1 month ago 63.2K views 0 shares
The Double Standard Is Real
GASP! The AUDACITY of developers! 😱 Put an emoji in your actual code and suddenly everyone's acting like you've committed a war crime—sitting there all stoic and judging you with their dead, soulless eyes. But HEAVEN FORBID your terminal spits out a cute little emoji, and these same code purists transform into rabid sports fans, practically FOAMING at the mouth with excitement! Like, excuse me?! Where was this energy when I added a 💩 to mark that legacy function nobody wants to touch? The hypocrisy is just TOO MUCH to bear!

Golang Date Format: The Executive Order
Golang Programming Backend
2 months ago 106.6K views 0 shares
Golang Date Format: The Executive Order
Ah, Golang's date formatting—the language where someone thought, "You know what developers need? More cognitive load!" Instead of using sensible formats like everyone else, Go decided that the reference date January 2, 2006 at 3:04:05 PM MST (01/02 03:04:05PM '06 -0700) would be their magic template. Want to format a date? Just remember which parts of this specific moment in time to use! It's like having to recite a magic incantation every time you need to print a simple timestamp. Seven years into using Go and I still have to Google this nonsense every single time.

The Irony Of Naming Conventions
Programming Csharp Typescript Javascript Java
2 months ago 142.7K views 0 shares
The Irony Of Naming Conventions
The meeting room falls silent as the boss declares "All titles must be in camelCase." The team nods in agreement, until that one dev points out "ProgrammerHumor isn't camelCase." Cut to: boss throwing said dev out the window. Nothing says "consistent naming conventions" like violently ejecting the one person who notices your hypocrisy. Just another day in code standards enforcement.

Type Script Safety
Typescript Webdev Javascript Programming Debugging
3 months ago 119.0K views 0 shares
Type Script Safety
TypeScript promises type safety but then gives us the any type - basically a backdoor that lets you smuggle in whatever garbage you want. The cat's horrified expression is every senior dev watching junior devs slap any on everything to make TypeScript errors go away. "TypeScript: JS with syntax for types" *looks inside* "any" - congratulations, you've defeated the entire purpose of using TypeScript in the first place!

Please Agree On One Name
Programming Golang C++ Typescript Javascript
3 months ago 189.3K views 1 shares
Please Agree On One Name
Ah, the eternal civil war among programmers trying to get the size of something. Is it count() ? size() ? length ? sizeof() ? len() ? Every damn language and library decided to pick their own favorite, and now we're all just Spider-Men pointing at each other in confusion. Nothing says "I'm a seasoned developer" like muscle memory making you type the wrong size function in every language and then cursing under your breath when the IDE throws a red squiggly line. Consistency? In programming? That's a good joke!