The Sacred Art Of Resume-Driven Development

Content WRITING YOUR PROGRAM IN PYTHON FOR QUICK TURNAROUND WRITING IT IN GEe FOR BETTER PERFORMANCE WRITING VERILOG AND RUNNING ON A FPGA FOR AMAZING PREFORMANCE DESCRIBING IT IN ENGLISH, AND RUN USING YOUR IMAGINATION. GREATEST PERFORMANCE Ungflip.com

Ah, the good old time warp of debugging. You sit down to fix what seems like a "quick bug" and suddenly you're in a parallel dimension where five hours feels like one. The smug Arthur meme face says it all—that mix of pride and delusion when you think you've been grinding for hours but it's literally been negative time. Every senior dev knows this feeling... except usually it's "since yesterday" and it's actually been three weeks.

The cat's face says it all. You spend years mastering development, only to have management add AI to your job requirements. Now you're drowning in Stack Overflow trying to figure out how to make ChatGPT produce code that doesn't look like it was written by a caffeinated monkey with a keyboard. The dog got adopted - your sanity didn't.

Ah, the mythical "permanent code" - that legendary state where your spaghetti mess becomes suddenly immutable when change requests arrive! 🕸️ Nothing strikes fear into a developer's heart quite like a boss casually suggesting "small tweaks" to a feature you cobbled together with duct tape, prayers, and Stack Overflow answers at 3 AM. The code is balanced so precariously that touching it might summon demons from the seventh circle of dependency hell. Pro tip: Just like Spider-Man's webs dissolve after an hour, your "permanent code" excuse has a similar expiration date. But hey, at least it buys you enough time to update your resume!

Content Project Manager Junior Dev Look at him, eating pizza. like an animal!!! Senior Dev Not like Mr. "Pay me overtime

Content GitHub The Internet GitHub The Internet Why would Microsoft do this?