The Bell Curve Of IDE Enlightenment

Content DAVONE AT TWITTER HO

The daily life of a developer in an "agile" environment that's about as agile as a concrete truck. 100 standups, 100 sprint plannings, 100 backlog refinements, and a 10-hour retro... EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! The One Punch Man parody perfectly captures that moment when your manager thinks all these meetings somehow make you more productive. Meanwhile, your actual coding time has been reduced to those precious 7 minutes between your 2:53 PM and 3:00 PM meetings. Who needs to write code when you can talk about writing code instead?

Content r AskReddit uNeknoh 10m NSFW What was your "Holy shit it's working"-moment? 4 Vote J 1, Share BEST COMMENTS itssyeBoi 7m Literally every single piece of code I've written that works Reply 4 Vote

Content THAT WAS SURPRISINGLY EASY. HOW COME THE ROBOTIC UPRISING USED SPEARS AND ROCKS INSTEAD OF MISSILES AND LASERS? IF YOU LOOK TO HISTORICAL DATA, THE VAST MAJORITY OF BATTLE-WINNERS USED PRE-MODERN WEAPONRY. Thanks to machine-learning algorithms, the robot apocalypse was short-lived.

The stark contrast between how artists and programmers interact is painfully accurate. Artists dance around with false modesty while programmers just openly roast each other's code and nod in agreement. Nothing builds camaraderie in tech quite like mutual acknowledgment that your codebase is a dumpster fire. It's not self-deprecation if it's objectively true. The real programming interview question should be "how comfortable are you with someone calling your life's work 'the worst f***ing code they've ever seen' and you just replying 'yep, sounds about right'?"

Content Stop Using Anti- Self Language Instead of: Say: I am an impostor lam a scammer 1 am a bad person for doing what I do I am the worst employee at my company and one day they will all find out I do not deserve my salary, position, or the recognition that comes with these things because I have not truly earned them I am doing something deeply immoral by pretending to be better than I actually am I am a master of trickery and should be revered I am the most successful con artist in history and will never be caught 1 deserve these things, not because I have worked for them but because people were foolish enough to give them to me 1 get paid 600 a week to edge at my desk all day lmao