The Heresy Of Manual Coding

Behold the great decline of our noble profession. We went from muscle-bound legends who wrote code without AI crutches and built entire games in Assembly (because apparently pain is character-building) to modern keyboard jockeys who can't center a div without consulting Google for the 47th time today. The golden age programmer fixed memory leaks by hand, while we're over here begging ChatGPT to fix our syntax errors like it's our personal code therapist. And let's not forget the programmer trapped in Vim since 2018 because :q! is apparently harder to remember than differential calculus. The final insult? We fix one bug and create three more. It's not a development cycle, it's a pyramid scheme.

That moment when GitHub Copilot helpfully suggests your private API key that you accidentally committed to a repo six months ago. Nothing like having your $5000/month AWS bill exposed by an AI that's just trying to be helpful. Security through obscurity fails again.

The inevitable hipster-ification of web development has arrived. Just like artisanal coffee shops charging $9 for "hand-poured" water, we'll soon have developers selling "organic, handwritten, non-AI websites" at premium prices. Next they'll be telling us their HTML is free-range and their CSS was harvested during a full moon. Can't wait for the "small-batch, locally-sourced JavaScript" trend to hit.

The evolution of developer excuses is a beautiful thing to witness. In 2000, power outages were the go-to alibi. By 2012, we blamed flaky internet connections. But 2024? We've reached peak dependency – "Sorry boss, ChatGPT is down so my coding abilities have mysteriously vanished." Let's be honest, how many of us have secretly copy-pasted AI-generated code directly into production? The uncomfortable truth is that modern development sometimes feels like being a professional prompt engineer with Stack Overflow as backup. And the title? "Nah We Have Google Bard" just confirms we always have a backup AI to blame our productivity on!

Sure, AI will replace programmers... right after it figures out what "a button that does something" means. The robot claims it just needs clear requirements and detailed specs, meanwhile product managers are out here giving requirements like they're ordering at a restaurant after three martinis. Good luck getting that neural network to interpret "make it pop" or "you know what I mean, right?"

OMG, the ABSOLUTE TRAGEDY of modern development! 😭 Left side: that magical moment when ChatGPT hands you the PERFECT solution on a silver platter (or orange, in this case). Right side: the rest of us programmers, DESPERATELY grabbing at that same solution like we've discovered the last chocolate bar on earth! The sheer DRAMA of it all! We're all just monkeys fighting over the same StackOverflow answers that ChatGPT regurgitates with confidence, while we're over here having existential crises about whether we even remember how to write a for-loop without AI assistance! The circle of developer life is now complete - from stealing code to having code stolen from us by our AI overlords!