Standing On The Shoulders Of Nerds

Content AdGuard adblockprivacy Today OPEN They're making me write release notes for food. This is my only way to communicate with the world. They wanted me to tell you there are heaps of new awesome features, but it's all lies! They simply changed a couple of strings in one of the localizations. I'm crying for help! Save me, please! - Steve Version 3.1.4 52.3 MB

Oh, the classic beginner's trap! Someone proudly announces their first "Hello World" program—the coding equivalent of learning to say "mama" as a baby—and gets mocked for being a noob. Then drops the ultimate flex: "Yeah, I wrote it in Assembly." For the uninitiated, writing Hello World in Assembly is like using a chisel and stone to write a grocery list when everyone else is using a pencil. It's unnecessarily hardcore and requires manipulating the computer at nearly its lowest level. While the cool kids are using Python with its cushy high-level abstractions, Assembly programmers are manually pushing bits around like digital coal miners. Nothing says "I'm not actually a beginner" quite like casually mentioning you're programming in a language that makes C look user-friendly.

Content magick68 2 2 hr. ago If you repeatedly do the same task manually, can you really call yourself a senior? 4 70 Reply Share OracularHades20 - 1 hr. ago Seniors repeatedly say "It depends" for a living, I guess no one is a senior. 32 Reply Share Content-Ad1222 2 47 min. ago It depends. How long does the task take and how difficult is the automation?

The AUDACITY of someone asking if you're coding while you're in the TRENCHES preparing for the apocalypse that is RTO! Like, excuse me?! I've got five monitors set up, seventeen contingency plans for when my VPN inevitably fails, and I'm practicing looking productive on camera while secretly updating my resume. Return to office isn't a policy—it's a HOSTAGE SITUATION. The only code I'm writing is the one that calculates how many sick days I can take before HR notices. The WFH paradise is crumbling and you want me to debug your function? THE HORROR!

Content DON'T REPEAT YOURSELF. CODE DUPLICATION BAD. 34 34 LET'S JUST COPYTHIS BIT OF CODE. LET'S JUST COPY THIS BIT OF CODE 14 14 0.1 2 10 score 55 70 85 100 115 130 2 0.1 145

That moment of sheer horror when you're gleefully criticizing some atrocious code only to have your brain whisper, "Wait... that variable naming convention looks suspiciously familiar..." Suddenly your righteous indignation transforms into existential dread as you realize you're not reviewing someone else's crime against programming—you're staring at your own code from three weeks ago. Nothing humbles a developer faster than becoming the archaeologist of your own terrible decisions.