Software Bad? Let's Make It Worse!

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Content consigliere moyodre How would you write " changed a light bulb" on your resume? M MuyiwaSaka Single-handedly managed the suc- cessful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns and zero safety incidents.

Content every element in the array gets a this label is a numeric value, which we call an index the first element has the index 0 Aw look how cute Arrays start at index 1 Oh no It's retarded

Content fix bugs add features rewrite all in new trendy language

Measuring developer productivity by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight. The irony here is delicious – the engineers who write the most elegant, efficient code that handles critical infrastructure like security and performance probably wrote the fewest lines. Good security code is minimal and precise. Meanwhile, the person who copy-pasted 10,000 lines from Stack Overflow to make a button slightly rounder just got promoted to Chief Engineer. The tech industry's equivalent of promoting surgeons based on how many incisions they make rather than how many patients survive.