Never Write Funny Comments

Just when you thought C couldn't get more intimidating, the Germans had to give it their efficiency treatment. What you're looking at is basically regular C code wearing lederhosen and drinking a beer. Ganz Haupt() is just main() with a superiority complex, druckef() is printf() after taking German lessons, and zurück 0 is return 0 but with an umlaut attitude. The real horror isn't the syntax—it's imagining the compiler errors in German. They probably come with a side of existential dread and philosophical critique of your coding style.

The ultimate paradox of computer science education! Take too long to graduate and you're essentially digging your own grave. While you're busy cramming for exams and perfecting your bubble sort, the industry is churning out frameworks that'll be extinct before you even update your LinkedIn profile. Nothing says "welcome to the real world" like maintaining legacy code written by people who graduated when "cloud" just meant bad weather. The longer you stay in school, the more technical debt you're inheriting from your future self. It's like watching your own execution in slow motion, one semester at a time.

Content Example of GPT-4 visual input: User What is funny about this image? Describe it panel by panel. Source: https:www.reddit.comrhmmmcommentsubabSvhmmm GPT-4 The image shows a package for a "Lightning Cable" adapter with three panels. Panel 1: A smartphone with a VGA connector (a large, blue, 15-pin con- nector typically used for computer monitors) plugged into its charging port. Panel 2: The package for the "Lightning Cable" adapter with a picture of a VGA connector on it. Panel 3: A close-up of the VGA connector with a small Lightning con- nector (used for charging iPhones and other Apple devices) at the end. The humor in this image comes from the absurdity of plugging a large, outdated VGA connector into a small, modern smartphone charging port.

Forget renewable energy – just hire programmers! The meme shows a bracelet that converts stress into electricity, followed by an image of a programmer who's literally glowing with power like a human lightbulb. If tech companies actually harnessed developer anxiety, we'd solve the global energy crisis overnight. That deadline-induced panic when your code won't compile? That's not a mental health crisis – that's just you becoming a walking power plant. Silicon Valley's next big innovation: stress-powered data centers where the ping pong tables are actually just there to give you a false sense of hope before they throw another impossible sprint at you.

Someone's been checking their bank account after buying that new M2 MacBook Pro and 4 different mechanical keyboards this month. Let's be real—the closest most of us get to being "sugar daddies" is splurging on premium GitHub tiers and paying for IDEs we could technically get for free. The brutal reality check that your $120K salary feels like minimum wage after rent in San Francisco and those AWS bills you forgot to turn off. Nothing says "wealthy bachelor" like eating ramen while debugging at 1AM because you can't afford both DoorDash AND that new RTX graphics card. Now get back to optimizing those algorithms instead of your dating profile. The only thing getting any attention tonight is your pull request.

Boolean questions should return TRUE or FALSE. That's it. No debate. No explanation. Just binary logic. But then there's that one colleague who responds with "Well, it depends..." and proceeds to write a novel-length string response that could've been a simple yes/no. The worst part? You're still parsing their answer three coffee refills later, trying to figure out if they meant true or false. It's like asking "Is this variable null?" and getting back the entire Git commit history since 2015.