Never Touch Working Program

Oh. My. GOD! The absolute AUDACITY of this developer! 💅 While you're over here being a precious little angel asking fifty questions to do something perfectly, this DIABOLICAL GENIUS is playing 4D chess with the client! They're not gathering requirements—they're GATHERING EVIDENCE to prove the whole project is utterly pointless! The ultimate "work smarter not harder" power move! Why spend 80 hours coding when you can spend 2 hours convincing someone they don't need the thing they thought they needed?! It's not laziness, honey, it's EFFICIENCY at its most RUTHLESS!

Remember when web development meant just grabbing your Laravel briefcase and heading out the door? Fast forward to today, and you're drowning in a sea of frameworks and libraries! SpongeBob perfectly captures the evolution from the simpler "Then" days with just Laravel to the chaotic "Now" where you're bombarded with Express.js, Next.js, GraphQL, REST APIs, multiple Node.js versions, and React with its infinity symbol (because the learning curve truly never ends). It's like going from carrying a single briefcase to juggling flaming chainsaws while riding a unicycle. The thousand-yard stare in modern SpongeBob's eyes is the universal expression of every developer who just wanted to update a simple dependency and ended up rebuilding their entire tech stack.

Unix philosophy claims "everything is a file" until you actually try to cat a directory and get slapped with that condescending "Is a directory" error. Ten years into my career and I'm still occasionally typing cat on directories like some junior dev who hasn't been properly traumatized yet. The lie detector determined: that "everything is a file" was a lie. Directories, sockets, pipes—all just teasing us with their file-like appearances while secretly being special snowflakes.

Content PAIR PROGRAMMING? ARE YOU CRAZY? IT WOULD HALVE THE PRODUCTIVITY OF THE TEAM! I TWITTER.COM VINCENTONL ALRIGHT, LET'S DO A FOUR HOURS MEETING. EVERYONE IN THE COMPANY MUST ATTEND.

Looking in the mirror after your code mysteriously breaks for the 17th time today. Plot twist: you're the villain in your own development story. That moment of horrific self-awareness when you realize you've been hunting yourself all along. It's not a bug—it's a feature of your own making. The call is coming from inside the house!

OMG, the AUDACITY of this man! When you're making $400K a year, dress code becomes a mere suggestion, darling! 💅 That Hawaiian shirt and basketball shorts combo SCREAMS "I could delete the entire codebase and you'd still beg me to stay." Meanwhile, the rest of us peasants are ironing our button-ups like it'll get us a 2% raise. The higher your debugging skills, the lower your fashion standards - it's basically a law of physics at this point!