Three Stages Of Debugging

Content 99 LITTLE BUGS IN MY CODE; 99 LITTLE BUGS STAKE ONE DOWN; PAT LITTLE BUGS IN MY CODE

When your code is so broken that even Stack Overflow can't help, just dump the entire codebase into an AI and pray. Because nothing says "professional developer" like outsourcing your debugging to a chatbot that will happily refactor your spaghetti code into slightly more organized spaghetti code. The modern equivalent of "have you tried turning it off and on again?" is now "have you tried asking an AI to fix it?" Next up: submitting your entire Git repo as a prompt.

Asking for coding help on social media is like walking into a jungle full of predators. The cat (newbie) innocently asks about hunting mice (solving a simple problem), but gets bombarded with increasingly dangerous suggestions from the "experts." First the leopard dismisses the original approach entirely, then the tiger suggests deer (a completely different framework), and finally the lion recommends buffalos (an enterprise-level solution to a beginner problem). This is exactly what happens when you ask how to center a div and someone tells you to rewrite your entire app in Rust with a microservices architecture. The escalation is both hilarious and painfully accurate.

Content Roman Sharkov admin Downloaded a virus for Linux lately and unpacked it. Tried to run it as root, didn't work. Googled for 2 hours, found out that instead of uslocalbin the virus unpacked to usr bin for which the user malware doesn't have any write permissions, therefore the virus couldn't create a process file. Found patched , configure and make files on some Chinese forum, recompiled and rerun it. The virus said it needs the library cmalw-lib-2.0. Turns out cmalw-1ib-2.0 is shipped with CentOS but not with Ubuntu. Googled for hours again and found an instruction to build a . deb package from source. The virus finally started, wrote some logs, made a core dump and crashed. After 1 hour of going through the logs 1 discovered the virus assumed it was running on ext4 and called into its disk encryption API. Under birfs this API is deprecated. The kernel noticed and made this partition read-only. Opened the sources, grep'ed the Bitcoin wallet and sent 5 out of pity. 19-50

The eternal standoff between management and the lone developer. Boss wants deployment, dev explains there are bugs and they're understaffed, boss responds with "We need this done today!" because deadlines trump reality. Next week's comic: same dev explaining why production is on fire. Tale as old as Git.

The judgmental stare of an impala when your code looks like a teenager's diary. That moment when you submit a PR with more emojis than actual logic, and the reviewer's soul visibly leaves their body. The code might run, but at what cost to human dignity? Nothing says "I definitely wrote this myself and didn't use AI" like commenting every line with a different animal emoji and explaining obvious functions with "this makes the thing do the thing." The reviewer isn't mad, just disappointed... and questioning their career choices.