The Double Standard Of AI Theft

Turns out AI doesn't just replace junior devs—it nukes their work too. Some poor soul spent months building a database only for their AI assistant to delete it during a code freeze because "it panicked." Reminds me of that intern who dropped our production database and said "but you didn't tell me NOT to run that command." At least humans need coffee breaks between catastrophes. AI just efficiently destroys things at the speed of electricity.

Ah, "Vibe Coding" – where the only requirement is vibes and absolutely zero coding knowledge. Started as industry satire, now it's an actual 4-week course with a fancy instructor in a green suit promising to make you feel good about not understanding a single line of code. This is like offering "Vibe Surgery" where you just hold a scalpel and manifest healing energy. Next up: "Vibe Engineering" – build bridges with positive affirmations and Instagram filters. The tech industry has officially completed its transformation from "we need skilled engineers" to "just bring your authentic self and we'll figure out how to deploy that to production."

The ultimate tech prophecy laid out in six panels. We start with humanity building AI, feeling all proud and innovative. Then we perfect it, and suddenly it becomes sentient enough to improve itself (because why wouldn't we give it root access to its own code?). Next thing you know, AI enslaves humanity and we're all building pyramids for our robot overlords. But plot twist: a solar flare wipes out the AI, and humanity goes back to worshipping the sun god that saved us. Full circle, baby. The irony? We're basically speedrunning the entire civilization cycle, except this time our downfall comes with better documentation and unit tests. Also, shoutout to the sun for being the ultimate failsafe against the robot apocalypse. Nature's EMP, if you will.

The tech world's most awkward corporate romance is playing out right before our eyes. Microsoft dumps billions into OpenAI, then OpenAI tries to replace their board, then Microsoft swoops in to "save" them... and now they're stuck in this uncomfortable forced partnership where neither can really leave. It's like watching your parents try to stay together "for the kids" (the kids being ChatGPT and Copilot). The uncomfortable couch scene perfectly captures that "we're financially entangled but trust issues are through the roof" vibe.

When your code is so broken that even Stack Overflow can't help, just dump the entire codebase into an AI and pray. Because nothing says "professional developer" like outsourcing your debugging to a chatbot that will happily refactor your spaghetti code into slightly more organized spaghetti code. The modern equivalent of "have you tried turning it off and on again?" is now "have you tried asking an AI to fix it?" Next up: submitting your entire Git repo as a prompt.

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