I Love My Country's Job Market

Ah yes, the endless war between curly braces and angle brackets. Backend devs sitting in their natural habitat—a poorly lit room with messy desk and Apple hardware they never asked for but "it's company policy." Meanwhile, frontend devs get the ergonomic chair and dark mode IDE because apparently CSS traumatized them enough already. The true irony? Both are staring at black screens with colored text thinking they're completely different species while essentially doing the same thing—turning caffeine into bugs... I mean code.

THE ABSOLUTE AUDACITY of someone murdering trees just to review code in 2023! My soul literally leaves my body when I witness this prehistoric ritual. Like, have you heard of GitHub? Pull requests? THE INTERNET?! It's the Tom-from-Tom-and-Jerry face of utter disbelief for me. First looking at the paper like "is this for real?" Then that second glance of "did we time travel back to 1995?!" The digital age is SOBBING right now.

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The classic resume inflation algorithm at work! What's funnier than watching someone transform the mundane task of screwing in a light bulb into what sounds like they single-handedly revolutionized NASA's illumination infrastructure. The deployment terminology is particularly chef's-kiss - as if changing a bulb involved CI/CD pipelines and a Kubernetes cluster. And let's appreciate the "zero cost overruns" metric... because spending $2 on a light bulb is definitely within budget parameters. Next time you update your LinkedIn, remember: you didn't just fix a bug - you "architected and implemented a mission-critical exception handling framework with 100% resolution rate."