Human Regex Parser

Content Xcode is the worst development platform CHANGE MY MIND

While everyone's out here fighting over whether React is better than Vue, or if Rust will replace C++, or debating the merits of microservices versus monoliths, there's a silent army of COBOL developers quietly cashing checks that would make a FAANG engineer jealous. Born in 1959, COBOL is literally older than most programming paradigms we argue about today. Yet it still runs 95% of ATM transactions and processes about $3 trillion in commerce daily. Banks, insurance companies, and government agencies are desperate for COBOL devs because nobody learns it anymore—supply and demand at its finest. So while the tech bros are having a royal rumble about the hottest new JavaScript framework that'll be obsolete in 6 months, COBOL devs are just vibing, maintaining legacy systems, and getting paid premium rates to touch code that's been running longer than they've been alive. Job security? Try career immortality .

Oh no. Your manager just discovered the Gang of Four book and now thinks they're an architect. What was once a simple 50-line feature is now being meticulously refactored into seventeen different classes, each with its own AbstractFactoryBuilderStrategyObserverDecoratorProxy. Every function call now requires navigating through six layers of indirection because "it's more maintainable this way." The codebase has transformed from a cozy cottage into a sprawling industrial complex where finding anything requires a map, a compass, and possibly divine intervention. Sure, it's "enterprise-ready" now, but you need a PhD just to add a button. The real kicker? Half these patterns are solving problems you don't even have yet. Welcome to over-engineering paradise, population: your entire dev team, all working overtime to understand what used to be obvious.

The CRUSHING DISAPPOINTMENT of tech job hunting in 2024! 😭 That heart-stopping moment when your LinkedIn notification goes off and for 0.3 seconds you think some company FINALLY noticed your existence... only to discover it's just LinkedIn begging you to pay for premium features! The emotional rollercoaster is UNBEARABLE! Your hopes skyrocket to the STRATOSPHERE and then crash back to earth faster than a production server during a demo. And they have the AUDACITY to send these notifications when you're at your most vulnerable - refreshing your inbox for the 47th time today while questioning every life choice that led you to this career!

Content We're thinking computer virus. Our best guess is a trojan camped out in the server's boot sector. and converted the entire intranet into a botnet.

Content No NO (ag) Yes Documentation Le client: ProarammerHumor.io