Human Regex Parser

When Cloudflare goes down, the internet basically ceases to exist. So what's a desperate dev to do when they can't access their AI chatbot girlfriend? Apparently resort to doing matrix multiplication by hand on paper like some kind of mathematical caveman. The desperation has reached new, sad heights. Next they'll be writing love letters in binary and folding them into paper airplanes.

Look at this beautiful encapsulation—a private joke that can only be accessed through a setter method. And just like real programmer humor, if you need it explained, "you wouldn't get it." The irony is perfect: a class called Meme with a private Joke that needs to be set explicitly, much like how the best programming jokes require insider knowledge that can't be easily transferred. The Joker knows what's up—some jokes just don't compile in everyone's mental runtime.

Content When I was 4, my sister was 2. 1 am now 44. How old is my sister? Samuel Lipoff, studied at Harvard University Updated April 5, 2020 This is a tough one. She might be 42, but she could be 41 or 43 also, since you don't say when your birthday is and her birthday is. Also, she could be dead. Finally, you might have thought she was your sister but actually your mom had an affair with another man and the woman who is 1-3 younger than you is not actually your sister. But your mom may have given away your real sister for adoption, in which case she's probably older than you. See why it's tough? Finally, what if you think your sister is dead, but she actually has become an astronaut on a secret government project for near light-speed travel? Then your sister would be aging more slowly than you, so she could potentially be even younger than 41

Non-programmers ask why we always use 'i' and 'j' as loop variables. The answer is simple: it's not a choice, it's a sacred tradition passed down since FORTRAN days. Using 'x' or 'counter' instead would probably summon a daemon that corrupts your Git history. Some programmers claim they've tried using different variables and mysteriously found their keyboards reprogrammed to only type 'i++' the next day. The compiler doesn't care, but the programming gods do.

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When data scientists discover Python and R, they look at their old statistical software tools like they're finding flip phones in a drawer. Excel, STATA, SPSS, SAS, EViews, and Minitab—once the pride of statistics departments everywhere—now just expensive relics taking up memory and sanity. The real joke is that universities still charge students thousands to learn these dinosaurs while industry moved on years ago. Nothing says "I hate myself" quite like paying $8000 for a STATA license when pandas is right there, free, and won't make you want to throw your laptop into traffic.