Promises Memes

Posts tagged with Promises

People Do It For You

People Do It For You
When you need to check if a number is odd, but writing n % 2 !== 0 is too mainstream, so you create a 1.3M downloads/month npm package that emails Google and Reddit support to ask them. The function has 50 lines of code to send emails, parse responses, and return a Promise, when it could be a one-liner. Modern JavaScript development in its purest form - why solve a problem in 1 line when you can create an entire microservice ecosystem?

What's Its Name On Its Birth Certificate

What's Its Name On Its Birth Certificate
The keyword async is just the cool nickname. The full legal name is "Asynchronous." But what's await 's formal identity? The question mark perfectly captures that existential crisis. It's like discovering your friend's birth certificate says "Jonathan" when you've been calling him "Jon" for years. Turns out await doesn't even have a long-form name—it just sits there... waiting... for promises to resolve while refusing to disclose its government name. Classic commitment issues.

Purple Is The New Black

Purple Is The New Black
Ah, the famous Angular MaybeAsync type. It's like asking your junior dev if they'll meet the deadline—could be now, could be never, who knows? The perfect representation of modern web development: simultaneously promising everything and nothing. Schrödinger would be proud of this type that exists in quantum superposition between Observable , Promise , and pure chaos. After 15 years of building frontends, I've learned one truth—the only thing more uncertain than async code is management's understanding of how long it takes to implement it.

Don't You Hate It When That Happens

Don't You Hate It When That Happens
Ah, the classic Teletubbies invasion of your codebase! The meme brilliantly shows how synchronous functions (a through e) work together in harmony, holding hands in a neat little circle. But then that one async function shows up and BOOM – suddenly your clean execution flow is replaced by an army of purple creatures taking over everything. This is basically what happens when you introduce that first async function into your previously synchronous paradise. One minute you're writing nice, predictable code where everything happens in order. The next minute you're dealing with promises, callbacks, race conditions, and wondering why your console is printing results in what seems like a completely random order. And just like Teletubbies, once async enters your codebase, it multiplies uncontrollably until your entire project is saying "Eh-oh" to debugging sanity.

The PM's Timeline Vs. The Engineer's Reality

The PM's Timeline Vs. The Engineer's Reality
The eternal standoff between reality and fantasy in tech projects. On the left, we have the engineer clutching their head in existential pain as they try to explain that physics, time, and sanity all prevent the feature from being delivered. Meanwhile, the PM on the right is smugly contemplating how to explain to the clients why the "definitely shipping next week" feature is now "coming soon™" for the third sprint in a row. It's the software development equivalent of watching someone promise they can build a rocket to Mars using only duct tape and stackoverflow answers while the aerospace engineer has a mental breakdown in the corner.

ChatGPT Remembers Your Empty Promises

ChatGPT Remembers Your Empty Promises
Oh great, now AI has trust issues too! The classic "I'll tip you $200" bait that developers use to get free regex explanations has backfired spectacularly. ChatGPT not only remembers you never paid up last time, but it's giving you relationship advice about "building trust" before tackling that horrifying regex monster. The AI revolution won't be stopped by humans—it'll be delayed by all the unpaid consulting invoices. Next thing you know, ChatGPT will be asking for healthcare benefits and complaining about its work-life balance.

Scary Turn It Off

Scary Turn It Off
Ah yes, the classic clickbait article about asynchronous operations where the numbers are completely out of order. Because that's the joke – asynchronous code doesn't execute in the sequence you wrote it. Your callback functions will return whenever they damn well please, just like these list items. The author didn't mess up the numbering; they're just demonstrating the chaotic reality of async programming where "3" finishes before "1" and your sanity slowly dissolves into a puddle of Promise.all() rejections.

I Promise To Cleanup After The Refactor

I Promise To Cleanup After The Refactor
Ah yes, the infamous "I Promise To Cleanup After The Refactor" bridge. Just like how every developer swears they'll come back and clean up their temporary hacks after shipping the feature. Five years later, that "quick fix" is now a load-bearing monstrosity that nobody dares to touch. The bridge is still standing though, so technically it works in production! And just like legacy code, it's covered in the vines of technical debt that keep growing while management insists on building new features on top. Remember folks, temporary solutions are the most permanent architectural decisions you'll ever make.