Boosting Morale In The Tech World

Nothing says "we've tried everything except paying you more" quite like hiring cheerleaders to boost morale. Because clearly what fixes a broken codebase at 2AM isn't a living wage or reasonable deadlines—it's someone in cat ears saying "You can do it!" while you contemplate if your soul belongs to Git now. Next innovation: motivational clowns who honk every time your build fails! Silicon Valley taking notes right now...