Back In My Day: Binary Luxury

Ah, the classic programmer's dilemma! When you refuse to share your code, it's never about greed—it's because your implementation is held together with duct tape, Stack Overflow snippets, and questionable variable names like temp_fix_delete_later_v3_FINAL . The shame is real when your elegant solution in theory turned into a horrifying Frankenstein's monster in execution. Every programmer knows that feeling when someone asks "Can I see your code?" and your fight-or-flight response kicks in faster than an infinite loop crashes your IDE.

Content Genie: You have 3 wishes, you know the rules. Programmer: I wish I had 2147483649 wishes. Genie: Granted, you have 2147483647 wishes left.

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The left side shows the beefy, muscular Doge representing Fortran—the ancient powerhouse of scientific computing—flexing its numerical computation muscles. Meanwhile, the weak Doge on the right is begging for mercy from string manipulation tasks, which Fortran handles about as gracefully as a physicist at a poetry slam. This is basically every scientific programmer from the 60s who chose Fortran for its blazing fast number crunching, then spent the next decade crying whenever they needed to process text. The language was literally designed by people who thought "who needs words when you have EQUATIONS?"

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