The String-Splitting Evolution

The food chain of programming languages in one perfect image. HTML swimming around thinking it's a big predator like Python, Java, JavaScript, and PHP, when really it's just a school of tiny fish pretending to be a shark. Classic Dunning-Kruger effect in code form – the markup language with the least actual programming capability somehow convinced itself it belongs with the apex predators. Sure buddy, you keep "developing" those static pages while the real languages handle the heavy lifting.

Content Me operating an actual server Also me operating a washing machine "Alright, proxmox installed, all the 19 LXCs are properly set up. Web services are proxied through a nginx to make SSL cert setup easier. Valheim, CS:GO and icarus game servers are running. And it only took 45 Minutes." "Hi Mum, thanks for answering my call. Listen, I have a question, where do I put in the laundry detergent?"

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PH presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting(E ALL); ini set ("displayerrors", true); printi'7xml version"1.0" encoding "UTF-8" 7'. "In"):?

Content yeff yephph T What does this even mean to me Hello Jeffrey, Unfortunately due to company policy, we are unable to offer positions to people with the name Jeffrey since it will not work with our database schema 4:03 AM 12 Apr 20 Twitter Web App 1,273 Retweets 19.6K Likes

Content when was php released ALL IMAGES NEWS VIDEOS MAPS PHP Initial release date June 8, 1995 php How long does trash live? ALL IMAGES VIDEOS NEWS X MAPS Q Trash Lifespan 1000 years Lower classitications and chorview

Content php sucks lol avascript is bad and bloated python isn't real programming being aware that every programming language has its niche due to historical and usability reasons and hating on them makes no sense man, fuck MATLAB ProdrammerHumor.io