The String-Splitting Evolution

Content Shayan Roychoudhury ShayanRC V Stop fighting over languages! Just use the right tool for the job: -Use C if you want it to run fast -Use Python if you want to code it fast -Use JS for UI -Use Swift for iOS apps -Don't use PHP -Use C for games -Use Java for your backend It's not that hard ProgrammerHumor.it

Ah, the semicolon - that tiny punctuation mark with the power to destroy your entire week. While some poor soul lost sleep over a romantic interest, developers know the true nightmare: spending 96 sleepless hours hunting down a missing semicolon that's turning your perfectly crafted code into a dumpster fire. The compiler's just sitting there like "syntax error" without telling you WHICH EXACT LINE needs fixing. Thanks for nothing. And the best part? After those 4 days of debugging hell, you'll find it, add it, and feel simultaneously like the world's biggest genius and complete idiot. Relationships come and go, but the trauma of missing semicolons is forever.

Content HOW TO BUILD A HORSE WITH PROGRAMMING BY toggl Goon SquaD C YoU BUILT A HorSe IT'S UGLY AS HELL AnD HAS LOTS OF DANGLING PARTS , BUT IT GETS THE JOB DONE JAVA YoU REAlLY Want TO BUILD A HORSE BUT FIRST YOU NEED TO BUILD A HORSE FACTORY JAVASCRIPT YOUR HORSE ARRIVED IN DIFFERNT PACKAGES YOU BUILT THE HORSE, BUT THE BACKSONE CAME OUT ANGULAR SO THE HORSE IS PARALYZED NoSQL YOU HAD A FAST, BEAUTIFUL HORSE BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHERE IT IS COBOL YoU BUILT THe hoRSE IN 1962 IT CAN ONLY BE TAMED BY THE ORIGINAL CREATOR. FOR ALL OTHER PURPOSES IT'S A DRAGON. LISP YOU BUILT C THE HORSE WoRKS BEST WHEN DRESSED IN A CAMEL COSTUME WHEN YOU TRy TO USE IT AS ANYTHING ELSE THAN A CAMEL, IT GETS A BIT FUSSY WIT ASSEMBLY ThE HORSE TURNS OUT A LITTLE BASIC BUT BOY CAN IT RUN! PHP YOU BUILT A TROJAN HORSE IT RELEASES HUNDREDS OF TINY HORSES TO PUNISH E YOU EVERY DAY, FOREVER MART VIRKUS 18 OCCASCON

Ah yes, the classic "$800,000 bootcamp" that promises to transform you into a software engineer in just 3 months by teaching you *checks notes* approximately 87 programming languages, including some that barely exist anymore. Nothing says "legitimate education" like cramming Fortran, COBOL, and Assembly alongside React and TypeScript into 90 days. The "if you can't find a job you can spit on our faces" guarantee is the cherry on top of this scam sundae. Spoiler alert: The only thing you'll master in 3 months is how to lose $800K faster than a startup with free snacks and ping pong tables.

Content Replies X Ferdinand S 26 minutes ago During labor, the pain is so great that a woman can almost imagine what men feel when they code in COBOL 16 43 a 2 Add a public reply.. Jay 7 minutes ago (edited) What about the pain a woman feels when coding in COBOL whilst being in labor? Bunny 4 minutes ago Jay almost as hard as being a php programmer in 2020

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PHP presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting(E ALL); ini set ("display errors", true); print('?yml version"1.0" encoding"UTF.8" 2' "p"):?